Cities in the Dust

Some hours finally left me alone;not the unwished solitude so easy these latter hours that saw my city yeild to duty, but removed and unweighted by the day. Long from the sun perception came before judgement brotherhood born before strife. Light seemed limited yet broke hard on empty seats. measuring out my missing companion in longing and leaving afterglow in green and grieving. Irrigation hissed alive in streets where night insects chanted diabolic hymms. This seems where I begin unaligned from lies and compromise monolithic of the waking day

Disciples of the Watch

Recently I have decided to become an fraternal order such as the elk. Not that have actually signed up or even know how I would go about joining. So if a random stranger asks I may consider it; I guess is the take away point here.

Perhaps you are wondering why an antisocial loner such as myself would be interested in the elks or moose. The answer my friend is gaming space. Lodges are closing left and right due to lack of attendance, that means loads of open space going to waste. Once I join and indoctrinate my fellow gamers we will own the place. All we need is a couple of back rooms and we would happily pay dues to be left alone. We already have our own conventions and more than a few funny hats.

Those sceptical will perhaps need more proof of concept. Some years back the Conquest convention was held at Ricky's Hyatt with annex space coming from the Elks Lodge. Several of my gaming cohorts mentioned how comfortable the space felt. One mentioned clubs and bars being difficult for him, but the classic rock, cigarettes and cheap beer just working for him. Also us tea totallers may feel less out of place when the focus isn't 100% on drinking.

This need not be limited to the elk, moose or eagles. A masonic temple or the Ordo Temple Orientalis may work better considering the esoteric nature of most role playing games.

Well this is all a delusion of my kidney medicine probably, yes yes thats right i should be working that's right
;

Where the hell ive ended up on this glary random day

Some hours late in the day found myself wandering unhappily through how i spent my time. Again it's as though i waste the time i mean to put on my intentions. And afterwords have little to show with even less pride. Here well after I'm drawing dead against reshaping the day. Wondering what Heroines would think of those that take them for muse. Watching eyes dreaming as they may, wondering how much is seen.

Men of Station

Rain is tearing the rest of the evening to shreds while we are watching from the window on the second floor Hiding from eyes in a room we mostly forget set with awe as the grey spills across walls and chokes us with cold Faces burnt on thoughts of possibilities lost Unity in sorrow becoming singular again each walled form each other leave the nursery

stranded starfish have no place to hide

these days seem to be reapped in with long grass from the hill side Turned over in my mind and trailing behind Falling like grain through my fingers with little matter how hard i grasp But this is all allusion struggling with words to say im hurt And I feel words are mute with the distance that you are not When its only you and me Im wishing for what we used to be

Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns

Ah what the heck was that. It seems i have been neglecting my writing for too long. All that comes out is weak sauce indeed. Whats with all the alliteration i start with? Is that my style or a bad habit I have fallen into?

Mid sentence rhyming! Hardly Complex! Meter is non existent in my work but this truly throws it out the door.

I am talking about something has surfaced time and again in my mind. Some past summer day in a park above my house, Santa Teresa. It is changed and reworked in memory and light floods in making it all hard to see. At least this is what is going on in my head. And I am working through thoughts of time spend at this place even before the memory. Working out that even in the memory it has changed and is not the place i am looking for. That is what i am trying and failing at capturing. Seems like its been floating in me for ages and I cant get it out.

Perhaps i will work with the "of the unknown" idea in the future. What is going on with that is recollection of a series of dreams I have. The seem linked by a common thread of time and mutable yet congruent dream scape. Also hidden in the dream idea i can work through certain darker ideas I struggle with.

Well that is it for now. Drop a reply if you get a chance, i wonder who sees this crap.

;

Peach Blossom and Bitter Almond

Through all this light i can barely see whats moving through the trees. Its warm dull and sweet in the moments seeming unfitfully long as if druged with peach blossom and bitter Almond. Eyes close to rest devouring towers in the west, thou wide again. Aware days grown thin. Gone are ghosts i can't divine, i'll leave with specters only mine.

stargazer

Howdy folks

Since its been so long, I guess I will talk about where I am at. I feel like i am on a decent path right now and I am sticking with it. I am not really down on myself, but not contented either. I am impatient with taking it day by day; and want to rush to see the end of this road. But progess isn't with the planning but execution.

So what I am doing these days is

excercise (weights and cardio)
Reading my books (leibniz almost beat, then Heidigger)
working on the dark parts of my life to let in light
messing with my game stuff (atari)
playing around on the bass
Going to some concerts
working on some game stuff

I am thinking about having a movie sometime, but who know who would come when its one of my movies.

Maybe a game weekend around the 21st of April. Denise is gone then. Have some Catan or something like that.

Well thats it for now
;

Cracklin' Rose

Well where have I been? Nowhere consiquential.

As this is about work and not so much accounts of my life I haven't had much to say. I dont know where inspiration is going but i am not finding it.

I have been removed from the yearning that takes me to the places i write about. I could say its isolation, but perhaps its just feeling the pieces do not fit. Maybe that i am lying to choose the mantles I wear. To say your living a lie you have to pretend yourself defined. Right now I couldn't dream to say I identify with A or B. For the moment I am the mass, or at that i'll play. Empty myself and fill again with contentment.