Got me running

Sorry i am super busy this week at work. I have a scrum sprint starting up so I am trying to work on several tasks at once. Its sort of hard for me juggling the beginning of several jobs at once. I am OK once I have been in the trenches but before then I need a bunch of thinking time.

It's sort of part of me to need to conceptually need to grasp any task. Think of the avenues of attack and get a mental lay of the land. Some people are able to just march up a hill and then keep going without thought of direction. In a physical space this is natural for me but in the mental/conceptual space Its not.

On project has be looking up various pages of a certain type. I needed to understand the aspects of these pages and what mattered and what didn't before moving on. Now I am at least at conceptually there. I figured out what i need to do, and took some time bridge the gap of how to do that. Now its just documentation of ideas.

Plus its my anniversary so i am thinking a bunch on that. It's been 17 years and with the time before the wedding i guess I have been with Denise more time than not. Its odd thinking that and I am only 37. That's not young but its not that old either. We are going to La Foret in new almaden a few miles from the house. I am going to skip on the frois gras I hate geese but still force feeding them is a dick move.

Winters Call

Under the cold of a falling sky
left alone on winters throne
Dry what I can't remember
On the embers of a breaking dawn

Sleeps left me, again elusive
ever illness come to call
it's clamouring for attention
on days i don't say a word

Wide wonder begone home
its still sickness for today
prickly pin feeling under covers
then awake cold sweet clammy

Don't dream, it's not coming
ever in need out of sight

When Lights Go Down

The mornings are seeming shorter and shorter. I can feel the time missing when I'm not with you. I'm missing so many moments of your joy, and it seems your bigger every time I take the time to notice. There are nights I'm exhausted that I come home late and think she will be asleep soon. And I am happy for the coming rest but then I hate myself for not loving the time I get. I love your flapping excitement that bounds and bubbles with everything. I love your babbles about anything said again and again. I love you Keri.

Private Eyes are watching you

I ran a game last night since our DM was busy. The first thing that jumps out at me is boy was I under prepared. I need a way to railroad the players when they need railroading. I left them to their own devices to much. Need more carrots and sticks. I have to say this is a pretty standard problem form me. I play way too lose with the story. I need to do more of a module approach i think. Or have more stuff planned to get the action going.

I was doing a late 50's early 60's spy game, that had monsters and magic thrown in. One player was a goblin, and a villain npc an ogre. I am trying to not involve much fantasy into the plot line, but rather have that be a completely espionage based story. More that there just happen to be these other elements.

I am using the Savage worlds rules to run the game, but again i was a bit under prepared to run. Really that isn't fair to the players a GM should have the rules well in hand. Maybe I should have tried the rules set i am working on. Then i would have been more familiar with them.

Right from the star the players proved the old gaming adage "give your players 10 things to do and they will do the 11Th. Tried putting a P.I. and a hood together but the hood broke away and ran off. I really lacked giving the hood motivation to hang out with the party thinking he was going to be there for the exposition of the spy threat. Now he is sort of shadowing the rest of the players. I think I am going to have him get pulled in by the cops. Then i will try to reconnect him with the party by having the fed player get called in for some reason.

I hate having to come up with some shoe horn to get the party together, but I'm a pretty sucky gm.

I talk to the wind

Ships are moving over the water
Like notes flowing in time
expiring and conspiring
from sound conceived in mind

Splinters caught in wind
cast over a field aflame
seeded in embers
Ring out in fear

Calls and warning climb
from house to home
looking for answer
but ringing upon stones

Little ships sinking with water
burning houses in the town
Don't whisper a warning
just comply to be mine
were running out of wine

I'm yours for longing eons
but stay lets end this day
It's ours for your making

I've read all the books about being ill

I have a had a lot of medical problems throughout my life. From my kidney failure, skin problems all the way to several ear operations. Even to this day the ear nose and throat doctor makes me nervous. I would much rather to go the dentist, in fact my dentist is cool. I can easily remember being terrified as a kid visiting various doctors.

Now that I am a dad seeing my kid sick is incredibly hard. We had to give my daughter some eye drops which had her screaming and very afraid. Just doing it put me back in the doctors chair terrified of some thing he was going to use on my ears. And then I would think of my kid feeling that terror and I feel like I have failed. I don't want her to go through the crap I had even in a small way. Feeling her fear put me in tears the other night. I know it and I know how deep it is when you don't understand what is happening. And for my why it seemed to happen to me so often and not other people.

I don't mean that in a why me sort of way. I mean it in a kid coming to understand that their is something pretty seriously wrong with them sort of way. So far my daughter has been very brave little girl and has had few of the problems I had. I am happy, me being sick instead of hear makes what I have gone through OK.

I am Superman

I went into a comic store at lunch this afternoon. I have never been sure about these places, I just don't feel that comfortable in them. Its like I am listening to a Rap metal band. It's close to what I like but that bit I don't sucks schlong.

First of comic book store employees are dicks. I have been in a few over the years and it has been almost universally true. The owner of Hijinx comics in San Jose is a nice guy who is genuinely helpful. So shop from him exclusively if you have the choice. The rest are douche bags who don't give you much time or effort.

Most game shop folks can talk old school product and have an idea where you can find certain types of stuff. To expand on that, they knew which shops dealt in used product or had decent back catalogs. They have an idea what products like Basic Role playing or Alquadim are. This does not seem to be the case in comic shops or I am asking for some seriously crazy crap. I understand the industry of comics is huge in comparison and the history is roughly twice that of the gaming hobby. But these people seem to only have a solid idea current titles.

To an outsider comic book store organization is fuX0r. It's organized by publisher, fucking publisher. That would be OK for DC and Marvel maybe i could make a guess between those two. But How the hell am I going to know about the existence of some third party press. I don't know shit about comics let alone who published it. Imagine a book store like that, its freaking insane.

The staff have invited their friends to hang out at the store while they work so they can ignore customers. And they will ignore you you can wander around and take a dump in the stands in some shops. The stench will mix with that of the shop hanger-ons and probably make little difference to the over all aroma. If you can get their attention ordering stuff will be a huge inconvenience to them and you. keep in mind you are going to have to come back if you do. To be fair this is mainly true for the game stores, stench especially.