Mark Kozelek

got mad and cracks show
cards out windows
rain on roofs below
from there I don't know

give in, waste first days
dust dark sleep stays
blowing beyond within
only left is to end

Board up the old house
West men and mouse
Timber tones fall forlorn
our meanings without form

I'm still in the dream
not what it seems


This as nothing to do with the man.  i just use his songs as a metronome here.

Graham Crackers only Joy!

Hi folks,

I have been sick so no messages.  I also wanted to say i am on an upped dosage of my crazy med called Celexa.  Wow it is a very odd thing.  I feel better and less angry, nervous, activated but I also feel less motivated to use this outlet of blogging.  Perhaps my neuroses drive me here.

The odd thing and what I would like to mention is I have lost weight.  I am stress eater and being less stressed is less food for me.  But also there is something weird i have noticed.  I am going to talk about where food gets weird here, addictive and crazy.  I am not really comfortable discussing it but if it helps anyone good.

If you ever go to an AA meeting they will talk about a drug of choice.  That is not just saying liquor or drugs but a very specific question.  If I said food, that isn't it there are many but Graham crackers, they are my drug of choice.  I can eat any amount of them!  Skinny people challenge me on that, because they don't know shit about food.  If you are skinny you have never ate, not like I have.  When I eat graham crackers there is only joy, I dunk those fuckers in milk and eat em.  A full wrapped package is one atomic unit of graham crackers.  You think I cant finish a box, screw that three is a start bitch!  I'm crazy! 

And when i finish there is about thirty seconds until I feel like I am going to die!  But while eating only joy!

That is the thing you are going to be able to point out when you have a problem with food.  Well along with an externalized voice telling you to get up and eat at night, when nobodies looking; hidden eating is so fucking good!  That one thing that is your drug of choice.   It's almost calming to understand your food of choice because you know you have a problem there. 

With this extra celexa dose something weird has opened up to me though.  I understand my food addiction is caused by a messed up brain feeding me dopamine because I gave it graham crackers.  But with the serotonin uptake inhibitors running in my blood, I am less rewarded by food.  This has had the odd effect of strange effect of opening up my eyes to how systemically my brain is rewarding me.  Nearly everything I want to eat has some sort of reward effect going on. Even the feeling of hunger is not the awful feeling to always be avoided.  The full stomach thing isn't rewarded with the good eating dopamine so its sort of a negative now. 

Why am I sharing this with you?  I want to hide and eat my midnight snack in delicious aloneness!  Don't get me wrong I am still fat, I am down from my massive three eighty nine but still at fat fuck levels.  Most don't even see it.  I want that to be part of it, I am not some person who once was a little think a long time ago I have almost always been a lard ass.  I use these words than are hurtful to me to hide my feelings a bit.  But I want anyone feeling like this to not feel like its coming from outside.  Some bullshit skinny person talking out there ass.  Saying crap like no excuses, they aren't living my life or yours.  That gets old some person wanting you to wake up and see you are living your life wrong.  Fuck that! 

There was no disguise to Aloysius

There was no disguise to Aloysius.  Even to throw away the extraneous was out of his realm.  Some minimalist and machined reinvention would not fit. He was himself for ill or not.  Dull eyed at times be-gazing an inner land, as all else missed his eye. Here he was the hero or at least didn't feel villain through his bones.  What was broken he broke in intention; he acted not reacted.  He was principal and some of the story his own.

Kickstarter :Torment - Tides of Numenera

Well here is a great computer rpg or rather 2 great games for only 45$ of investment in the Kickstarter.  Looks like they are working and working at adding to the game with every stretch goal they meet.  I know i was interested in Wasteland 2 and I am also into this Torment world change sequel.  Both for 45$ sounds like a steel.  Torment was probably the last great D&D game, and here you have a chance to relive it.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/inxile/torment-tides-of-numenera?ref=home_popular 

Update: this is one that I actually did jump on so i guess i should disclose that I am now invested in telling you to put money in.  I am benefiting with more game content if you invest

And at even that he would fail

The stream of lies trickles at the feet of Nicene's ascent.  A polluted drain clogged with the words and wonders Aloysius gave away.  Rainbow hued oils that choked the fish, his grief.  The ragged plastic on the rocks his potential left to sloth.  No king or hero for his Tuvstarr, Aloysius was a wanderer.  And at even that he would fail.

God's elastic acer

I suppose I should work
through these dark skies.
and find some sort of chord
that rings with my own wonder. 

But that isn't today,
nor for a long while yet. 
Now is aching worry like lava on the floor,
 and no safe couch in sight. 

The empty boats of adulthood
when you steer the ship
and have no idea where to go. 

Where the safe illusion of parents
is yours to maintain,
we only whisper of our fear.
and pretend no one sees.

Roleplaying Mechanics: Combat

Sorry i have been so busy lately.  I have work going and I have been a bit sick of the computer.  I have been just trying to do and learn other stuff that is either productive or at least new.  I will post a write up on the catapult i built via a kit latter on.

This post is related to the oft mentioned and never finished roleplaying game project I have been working on.  I don't think I ever got around to doing a real combat system so I have been working on it.  I still don't have a healing and recovery set of mechanics but I guess that will have to be next.

I am going to come up with a label so it's easier for everyone to find stuff, game mechanics or something goofy like that.  But  the general dice used in my system are D10 +D4 which are exploding or open ended.  These are added to an attribute modifier which is 1-3 and you skill value which is 0-7.  This is compared vs. task difficulty.  The real heart of my system is that for every 7 points above the task difficulty you gain an extra success. These extra successes can be used to buy effects.  As character improve their skills actually include a number of automatic success in addition to the skill value.

That is all fine and seems to work in basic task resolution, but combat is always more complicated in any gaming system.  Taking what I like and dislike in games I have come up with something, I am not sure if it works , i guess we will see Thursday night.

Ignoring Initiative, which is my goal, I am just worrying about hitting and inflicting damage here.   The two hit role is going to be either a contested roll for melee or a straight target number for ranged combat.  Specifics may crop up for parrying thrown weapons but this is very high level sketch of the rules.

Taking the melee situation first.  Any Dodge, parry or unskilled person can attempt to get way from an attack.  This will probably focus on physical manipulation but a shield parry may come down to physical strength.  The attacker makes an attack roll while the defender rolls his skill or attribute.  Once successes and roles are determined we nullify the success across the attacker and defender.  If this ends with no one having success, we are done. Attack Failed.  If the defender ends up with successes and they have a special maneuver perhaps they can spend their successes to riposte or bind the attacker.  Should the attacker end up with one or more successes the attack hits.  If there are no extra successes just move on to damage.

If you have extra successes you can do more with your attack.  Using the successes to purchase effects. Here are a few I am working with in my playtest.

• Armor Defeating: 2 success over allows you to ignore armor
• Extra Die:  1 success ads an extra d4 to damage.
• Wound Check: 2 Successes forces the defender to save vs. taking a wound.  The target number is their current damage.  Extra successes can be added one for one to increase the difficulty of this save. 

Character sheet for my little game experiement

I am not character sheet designer.  If i could have it as I liked there would be two columns with lines and such or a table with a big name cell and a smaller number cell but for me this is pretty good.  I know there are some folks who love to do character sheets its almost your art.  I will stick to the games and stories myself.  Sometimes there are subjects you suck at that you are completely ok with sucking at.  Most repair and craftsman type skills are far beyond me.  Art crap and thinking are my only real forte, well that and noticing crap, I notice tons of junk.

Gosh what crap, I didn't even add the hits and wounds section. I sucketh at this.

Scifi Story characters RPGized part 3

Here is my final set of character notes for the game inspired by my sci fi story

Naeliim:

1. Melee: this relates to any fighting with a weapon
2. Physical Resistance (Environments):  This more specialized version of the skill covers dealing and moving in harsh environments.  This includes movement in zero gravity.
3. Ballistics: this relates to any time a small arm that launches a projectile is used
4. Bargaining: You are a trader and good at selling and buying for price that benefits you.
5. Navigation (Formorian): This characters knows the lay out of the ship and how structures are placed to maintain the life systems for the crew.
6. Pilot (tenders): Character knows how to pilot tender vehicles located on ship.
7. Food:  The character can scavenge food, determine food safety and prepare meals
8. Three other skills of players choice

 Roche: 

1. Biology Knowledge and manipulation of biological cultures.  Laboratory skills and usage of tools related to industrial uses.
2. Infectious Resistance:  This skill comes at resisting the effects of dangerous viruses and disease.  Also represents drug regimen.
3. Observation (Medical): character has keen eyes for disease even when it is hidden.  He can often observer others will working on a patient.
4. Interrogation: Character can work information free from unwilling particpants.
5. Medical: Character can take care of wounds and aid in recovery.  knows basic application of medical patches.
6. writing and communication:  Character is literate with ship board communications systems.
7. Call for Back Up: Character has authority to call for back up if need is dire.  Can order in help or serialization teams
8. House Viri Staff:  This allows for all combat attacks and sweeps made with this weapon.   If the blunderbuss is fired directly it is considered a ballistics attack

DDO: Monster Manual Farming note on Crystal Cove

Hi Folks.  I know most of you will already have a handle on this but if you are trying to finish up your Monster manual for Minotaur and Bugbear go to the crystal cove event.  I was sitting forever at 29 bugbears being pissed off that the bugbear in Redfens does not count as he initially appears on a panther.  But after a kill on the island I finally had my bugbear goal completed.  They have about four different bugbear you are not going to get else where so make sure to stop in and kill kill kill.

You don't even need to get into the actual quest chain just fight on the island.  So you will get a large number of kills just waiting for the treasure map piece to be rounded up.  It's also a good way for reaching your slayer goals for the bugbears as there are large numbers too kill spawning all the time.  The minotaurs were fewer but I got a couple. All and all worth my time.  One thing I was not sure I saw my counters going up for kills while inside the cave itself.  Sort of bugged me I could have used gregory or the wraith with the sword stabbed through.

Scifi Story characters RPGized part 2

Well here is my second set of character for my stab at and rpg version of my little sci fi story.  These are both going to be the men at arms of the game.  You will see some special effect worked into the skills hear.  There are combat options.  Most are sort of effect that can be decided on after a role is made.  One is a maneuver that is all or nothing.   You need to state the maneuver then role it, there will be multiple success  required and it would have a hex diagram as to how the attack if performed.

Alas I don't know how to do an easy mock up of a hex grid with text and shading.  If you have any hint please comment so I can better document the game.

Bendix:

1. Melee: this relates to any fighting with a weapon
2. Fighting: this relates to any hand to hand fighting 
3. Ballistics: this relates to any time a small arm that launches a projectile is used
4. Watch Out: This skill is used anytime perception is used and represents awareness not of just threats and movement but noticing the odd and out of place in familiar environments
5. Physical Resistance:  This skill is used to resist falling unconscious and all wounded effects that could harm the character.
6. Parry:  This is everything related to blocking an attack with a weapon or improvised weapon.  Often this is the only means of not getting hit in tight situations or advancing into combat.

• Bind:  This is a parry based maneuver requiring an additional success.  A bind controls the opponents weapon or arm.  A contents physical strength or maneuver role is made in subsequent rounds to break free of a bind.  Attacks can freely be made with an off hand weapon if all of opponents weapons are bound.
• Step Through: Is a parry based maneuver that requires a bind be in place and an additional success.  The binder repositions and drives the opponents weapon to a noncombat position.  A physical strength contests is made.   This allows the binder to advance to close range should the opponent have reach.  Also the bind is broken allowing the binder to again attack with their weapon.
• Follow through: Is a parry based maneuver that requires a bind be in place or immediately follow a step through, for an additional success a melee attack can be performed with no chance of parry.

Makaber:

1. Fighting: this relates to any hand to hand fighting 
2. Ballistics: this relates to any time a small arm that launches a projectile is used
3. Physical Resistance:  This skill is used to resist falling unconscious and all wounded effects that could harm the character.  
4. Chemical Weapons and Handling:  This relates to the use of chemical weapons and applications as well as protecting ones self from them.  Storage is also covered by this skill
5. Read People:  This skill allows the character to gain insight into NPC's and other characters motives.  While discerning truth and lies is possible, perhaps more basically allows the character to understand where they are coming from.
6. Watch out (for weapons): Similar to the watch out skill Bendix possesses Makaber has narrowed the scope of his skill to just spotting weapons.  This gives him an increase to the skill but severely limits is application.
7. House Viri Staff:  This allows for all combat attacks and sweeps made with this weapon.   If the blunderbuss is fired directly it is considered a ballistics attack.  Should the discharge be made in combination with a staff attack the entire attack would be considered a staff maneuver.

• Executioner Maneuver:  Requires House Viri Staff, loaded.  3 success required.  hexes immediately forward , right and left receive a trip attack.  hexes immediately forward takes extra success damage attack.  hexes immediately back take standard damage attack.  

A Look at the Zombicide: Season 2 kickstarter project

Well the folks at Coolminiornot are back at it with a second season of the hugely successful kick start for Zombicide.  They are calling it Zombicide: Season 2 .    They have become pretty much the gorilla in the room with sedition wars and Zombicide going crazy on kickstarter.  This new expansion of zombicide offers a lot of extras for the price but with anything with a large amount of physical pieces it can get expensive.

This project is looking to create more than just one product it appears.  They are offering Toxic City Maul, Prison Break and Zombie dogs as part of this package.  This will set you back 150 and says you can get playing with just this.  If you are going to want the original Zombicide that will bump up the price to 220.  It looks like all the stretch goals are met so you get a bunch of extra.  I see three new heroes along with their zombie versions, a bunch of extra zombies and some special colored dice.   A hero called Brad is thrown in for every purchase too.

One thing that i don't really care for is the weird limited pricing offers they give.  The 220 package was offered at 205 to a limited set of 50 backers.  If that was a special offer as part of their previous kickstarter then i am almost ok with that.  If they just offer the fist 50 guys a cheaper price that seems sort of lame.  Like they are priming the funding pump with a lower investment price and quickly getting up to funding.  that would fine on a first time kickstarter but Zombicide has proven itself and was always going to hit its number.

Update: Looks like they continue to destroy goals and put up new ones.  Now the inmate level is giving you a ton of extras.  If you are thinking about giving the game a go round this kickstarter seems to be hitting the moon.  I would keep an eye on it may just be too good to pass up.

Update:  I did this more for me but this seems to be what you are currently getting if you do the 100 dollar pledge. Extra i mean

12 trad walkser
6 trad runners
3 trad fatty
2 trad abomination
4 toxic walkers
4 berserker walkers
2 berserker runners
2 toxic runners
1 toxic fatty
1 berserker fatty
1 toxic abomination
1 berserker abomination

dog companiones
updated cars

Thaissa
thaissa zombi
Kirk
Kirk zombi
Aunt rose
Aunt rose zombi
Ralph
Ralph zombi


orange dice
red dice
new skull tracker
TCM and PO campaign
berserker spwan cards
toxic spawn cards

Scifi story character in RPG form

Well some you may have seen my little Sci Fi story that has been going for a month or so.  The plan is to do a roleplaying adventure set in that word using the rule set I have hinted at over the years.  Originally I sat down and talked with players to get an idea of what they wanted to play.  After the interviews they arrived at a party that was eerily similar to the characters of my story.  I am not sure if they had been reading it or not but I have decided to shoe horn their character into the roles described within my story.

One of the elements of the tale I have been telling is a decrease in scientific knowledge so that technicians are sort of the wizards of the game.  In my story i have divided tasks between two characters giving one a very physical set of skills that is more like that of a traditional craftsman.  The other character Parc has skills similar to a scientist with a working knowledge of  cobol and familiarity with circuits.

My first stab at the game will be writing out some skills and description for these two technical characters.  The players will probably also be given a few points for other skills.

Parc's Skills

• Power: This is everything related to getting power from and two something.  Patching into a power line and stepping it down to not fry your razor.  Reworking something from AC to DC batteries and everything else.
• Wires:  This is understanding wires jumbled into a hyrda on the floor to rewiring buttons.  Basic understanding of a machine can come from minor examination of the wiring harness.
• Circuit boards:  Soldering, components,  trouble shooting, repair and beard boarding.   If it needs a circuit this is the skill you need.
• Computers:  This is going to be use, navigating a network and even programming.  I would make separate skills but a design mandate is to have skills scale up and down as needed.  Computers are a minor part of the game so only one skill is needed.  I would have several if this character were some sort of net running.
• Engineering:  Understanding and design of machines and systems.  Properties of industrial materials including strong and weak points.
• Physics: Understanding of the principles of forces and objects they have acted upon.  This game assumes a grand theory of everything has been solved and that the laws of physics change with relation to gravity.
• Chemistry: Knowledge and manipulation of chemicals.  Laboratory skills and usage of tools related to industrial uses.
• Astronomy: This is very specific to the path of the Formorian (Ship).  players have knowledge of the circuit it makes and little else.  They do understand astronomical principles and phenomena.

Klein's Skills 

• Craftsman: Building of anything from wood to metal fabrication.  Half Norm Abrams and Half Jesse James, this is the skill for building tables, cabinets, housings and what not.  This is more art than science.
• Motor:  Fixing and modifying any sort of gas powered motor.  Electrics are going to be more of Parc's domain knowledge.
• Hydrological: Any machine needing fluid driven movement.  There will be may doors and hatches on the ship that need this sort of skill to open if there is no power running to them.
• Scavenger: Finding some useful part in a pile of junk.
• Bargaining: You are a trader and good at selling and buying for price that benefits you.
• Chemical Resistance:  This skill comes at resisting the effects of dangerous chemicals, keeping your head while drinking and fighting off the effects of drug addiction.
• Recovery : This skill comes into play when your character has had his ass handed to him.  This speeds getting on your feat and allows the character to overcome some life threatening wounds.
• Charm: For Klein this is being generally likable and unassuming.  for others this may be more animal magnetism.