Krampus for Christmas part 123: Clean up part 4

The neighborhood was alive with folks wandering about.  All singing to each other most sounded as if pained by gout.  With all the caroling and shopping Krampus paid a visit to the mall.  The monster loved carols but the singing left him appalled.  For Krampus plans a lone monster was too few for the task; so he rounded up young men and gave each a mask.  They all had furry suites, chains and a bell.  Now Krampus had an army of Krampusse to raise a little hell.  The monsters stormed the Spencer's and Orange Julius stores; spanking all the maidens dressed up like little whores.  The young children for the most part were spared, but if they weren't their parents wouldn't have cared.  In line for Santa they were mostly brats and deserved a few swings from the Krampusse's bats. When Security finally came Krampus gave a call and the band of shaggy outlaws fled the mall.

Fleeing Krampus spied Idunn in line, waiting for Santa her parents glowering from behind.  The little girl's smile lighted her parent’s gloom, Papa stepping between the beast and Idunn.  Krampus smiled a fang filled grin then knocked over a big trash bin.  Her parents wondered, looking down at the little girl.  Mommy nearly fainted when Idunn's smile started to curl.   Mommy was about to ask how she knew the giant brute, just then the elves hauled Idunn up to the fat man in the suit.  Claus asked what she would like and posed for a pictures.  Then he offered her parents advice to reign her in stricter.  Santa gave Idunn a cane and hustled here away.  He said he would see her soon on Christmas Day.  Glancing back Santa gave her a wink.  He knew Krampus too Idunn started to think.

Back to the furry gang Krampusse all were on the run.  Each headed for an exit after a little fun.  Knocking over displays with choruses of merry shouts.  Krampus himself laid a store greeter out.  He called to Krampus "Happy Holidays" and the monsters attitude took a turn for the worse.  For Krampus no other Christmasy greeting was worse.  Our monster had put only Christmas in his evil heart and of other holidays he was determined to have no part.  Sure Krampus remember all the ancient traditions of times gone and old.  He often mistook Santa for Odin if truth be told. He remember time before it was called Christmas, the wintry Yule. Before he was reined in by Santa, Krampus was even more cruel!

The gang broke into the movie house interrupting the show.  It was something about Pine tree Vermont hoping it was going to snow.  The monstrous band lashed the crowd howling for their blood.  Krampus mauled the Mayor, he was known for graft and sling of the mud. The Krampusse devoured the concession stand even if the popcorn sort of stale. Glass and candy was scattered on the floor.  Everything gone, Krampus smiled contently upon the gore.  It was a gala night before the carnage came, now the rich of the splendid town lay broken and in pain. Krampus knew most were crooks and got what they deserved.  He was happy for the Jolly backdrop on which his vengeance was served.  It was the sort of night to be spoken of for years.  Krampus would swell with pride when he felt a burning of his ears.  His band of krampusse he freed on the unsuspecting town.  Heading off to sleep in a cap and long night gown.

With Christmas a few weeks away, Krampus was up with the first light of day. The big monster thought of the little men working in Santa's shop.  Once he tried to help but the fat man told him to stop.  Krampus wasn't an elf nor good with his hands but Krampus helped charity in ways only he can.  In big toy stores all filled with Christmas rush; Krampus encouraged shoppers donate or blood would gush.  At Christmas “Toys for Tots” left out a bin, Krampus made sure everyone tossed a couple toys in.  The monster didn't talk or say a word, just swished his switch lightly the message clearly heard. A couple of teenagers tried to sneak by they were unhurt mostly, just a blackened eye.

One night Idunn trotted up with an unwrapped toy, the monster cracked a little smile to the girls bounding joy.  Her parents hurried off worried Krampus may eat her, but Idunn knew there was no reason to fear.  The hulking brute had grown fond of the girl. Idunn and he would talk over the fence all hours of the night, and then she would climb through her window quick as a squirrel. Idunn leaving the beast for her soft warm bed; Krampus to his dog house that didn't cover his head. Idunn's parents wouldn't understand; if they knew these nightly visits would be banded. 

The little girl gone, Krampus again enforced the rules.  Krampus thought of charity important for the Yule.  The store stood on the classy side of town; He didn't target the poor for this Christmas shake down.  All had plenty to give or got the whip, it was funny how the richest usually ended with a fat lip.  Krampus looked over toys in the bin, somewhat ambivalent it was hard to read his grin.  Too few gifts for the older boys and girl, Christmas wasn't easy for the older orphans of the world.  No music players or big kid bikes, but plenty gift for the smallest of tike's.  Krampus stalked about the isles, tossing toys into unsuspecting carts, and then instructing shoppers where to donate with a menacing smile.  Shoppers complied in fear, buying music players or losing their ears.  The monster ordered one suited man to buy up video games or face his wrath.  He bought out the store earning the beasts approving Laugh. Near closing time Krampus appraised the haul, smiling happily the bins filled all.  He could go home his work complete, next year maybe he and Santa couple compete.  Many kids would have a happy year, now it was time for Krampus to make the others tremble in fear.

This time of year the Ahwahnee hotel held a fine Christmas feast, and all the medieval merriment called to the beast. The dining room was decorated so festive it glowed.  All in the theme of a Christmas at Bracebridge hall of old.  Some sort of artist had organized the first dinner, many years back when Krampus was much thinner.  The monster visited in the dark of night, knowing his monstrous site would cause a fright. He peered in through the windows cracking as sash, and dined on left overs and trash. He enjoyed the evening it was all so fun, but where was the terror. Of fear there was none.

The peacock pie had been served to one and all when Krampus burst from the window and stormed the hall. He battered the house keep and flattened the Lord of Misrule. All the fancy dinners would remember this Yule. He grabbed a banker and gave him the lash. Buggering his wife with a rod made of ash.  Krampus tore at a tuba player and wrapped brass about him like a bow.  The monster preferred guitar, this was a critique of the show.  Pipers and players neither were spared, Flutes rammed down throats and up other places; you would have glared.  His hoof smashed tables shattering plates, if you love carnage you'd say it was just great.  Blows felled a bus boy like a tree; he was embezzling from the bar.  Krampus's switch lashed the evil, them running near and far.  Then beast was on them with a mighty bound; whips and cries a musical sound.When all the nice banners lay broken and torn, Krampus flew away his welcome having grown worn. A last look Krampus surveyed the damage with delight. Hooting and hollering a menacing "Grus vom Krampus" into the night!

This late In the season Krampus loved to bake. His were the worst inedible ill flavored sort of fruity cakes. Krampus delivered them to the neighbor's doorsteps with a toss.  Some shattered across the lawn but the monster wouldn't mourn their loss. Cake broken windows were none of Krampus's concern.  He did the same thing last Christmas and the neighbors really should have learned.  The cakes were hard and really not for eating; more a friendly seasons greeting.   Krampus didn't shell the nuts just leaving them in for a surprise.  To some he added bolts and hot wheels you should have seen the kiddies eyes.  In January the dentist fixed many teeth, he was so grateful he often sent Krampus a wreath. 

Krampus's cookies tasted vaguely of frogs.  No one dared eating them not even local dogs.  He pumpkin bread alone was delicious and that he didn't share.  We only knew of those from the mouth watering smell dangling in the air.  The monster always had Figgie Pudding waiting on the boil.  He dumped it on carolers leaving them flame broiled.  Krampus often baked in coins despite the cost.  They were a choking hazard several lives were lost.  Then came the mincemeat flavored pie, though it wasn't meat and Krampus wondered why.  The beast added tripe to make it true to name, the few who ate it wondered who was to blame.  The pies were horrid terrible foul; left on doorsteps when the Beast did prowl.  Once Krampus had added candied apples to a church bake sale, they were infested with worms, also pretty stale.  In the caramel glaze they looked fine, but after a few bites kiddies retched and whined.

His neighborhood baking was the talk of the town, spoken in hushed whispers with a grim frown.  Few knew Krampus the beast lurked; they thought the food from a prankster jerk.  Only Idunn watched the monster bake, Krampus in a hair net for cleanness sake.  The girl and monster chatted through the fence, Krampus making cookies full of mince.  They shared some of his pumpkin cakes; it was the only tasty dish of all he makes.  Idunn even helped deliver the treats late one night.  She crept out late even through knowing it wasn't right.  For the most part Krampus's cooking was not enjoyed; just another Christmas sorrow for all the girls and boys.

A couple of days later Idunn and the monster left their houses late in the evening.  Krampus had a special treat that needed seeing.  Krampus and Idunn wandered the in wonder all through the park; even though all was turned down and dark.  The Little scenes of Christmastide, all laid still long past closing time.  The beast looked on smiling at how with no people no peddlers it got Christmas right.  In rain lights shined on the roadway all looking lonely in depth of night.  With the power on elves hammered out toys in a sweatshop for the good girls and boys.  Reindeer trotted in a stable each in a stall.  These were ancient animatronic Christmas scenes once owned by the mall. Some new others old and dingy, they should be cleaned but the city was stingy.  Idunn happily squealed the about the virtues of every scene, the girl so happy Krampus smiled not the least bit mean. She shouldn't have been out this late.  Certainly not with a monster, but she thought it was great. He parents had taken her, at day to see the park, but now it had a new magic, with a monster, in the dark. A forest of lighted trees decks by local rotary clubs; shined merrily lighting the way to local pubs.  Of all Idunn liked the little Noah's Ark, she said it was the best of the whole Christmas In the Park.  The monster smiled remembering the traditions start.  A gift from the cities mortician, the irony was not lost in Krampus's heart. 

These late hours the sausage stand watered Krampus's maw.  He found a few left over links in a can with trash and straws. Idunn said no when Krampus offered a bite, the beast wanted her to eat but she put up a fight. the chilly air gusts were odd for a city of the bay, and drop of rain sent the pair on their way. They left wind rushing through Krampus's hair, upon an old motorbike sidecar equipped for flair.  Idunn huddled wrapped up with a giant helmet on top.  She shouted with joy at Krampus with every stop. On through the houses alight with Christmas light bulbs shining against the night.  He turned down unknown streets to see houses made up with zeal.  Most streets had but a few but one street he stopped skidding with a squeal.  All the houses even the trees shined out blanketing the scene in weight.  Krampus eyes shone thinking the view was great. Like new fell snow drooping down every bough! When Idunn saw she gasped a great big wow! This was a street to remember and check in on again.  Then they rode off Krampus with his new found friend.

A couple of nights later the sirens wailed as Krampus cackled through the night; speeding through the city finally the last of the cop cars disappeared from sight.  The chase started and was over quick the monster on his motor bike along with Saint Nick.  The police saw a monster on the bike and gave chase.  Santa didn't want to be seen with Krampus and hid his face.  Claus was setting loose Krampus on a kid from the mall.  While visiting Santa the brat screamed and kick Santa in the balls.  These were the nights Krampus loved his Christmas work.  When Father Christmas wasn't being such a goody goody jerk.  The monster enjoyed righteously beating kids.  Santa directing the punishment based on who much bad they did.

Under the cloudy sky Krampus spied on the house from afar, Santa all the time hid in the motorcycle sidecar. The stockings were hung and they watch the fire crack merry, unaware they were being stalked by someone quit scary.  A Cloven hoof kicked in the door and the family gasped in horror.  The children shrieked dropping presents and candy.   The monster grabbed the boy and looked at the mother somewhat randy.  On orders, Santa said not a mark, so Krampus beat the bastard with a bag of oranges and tan bark.  After the child moaned in a pulp he looked up at the mom and she gave a loud gulp. The cop cars were her release, who knows what she would have done with the beast.  The pair rode off after the damage was done. Krampus smiling, he thought it had been fun.  They made their way to another house later that eve.  Krampus consulted with Santa if the mystery house should get a reprieve.  The pair looked in wondering what the family was about.  The tree was decked out as if nothing was ajar, except the top had no angel not even a star.  Presents were nestled under the tree with care, in the hopes that the winter solstice would soon be there.  They wondered why the family pretended through the Christmas Yule.  Maybe they thought denying their kids presents was far too cruel. 

Santa remembered the Parents from when they were tots.  They were good but their Christmas lists demanded a lot.  The children Santa had never visited before, and Krampus didn't remember leaving them in gore. Something was wrong they thought on the matter.  Krampus would investigate while Santa ate cookies and got fatter.  Claus left the issue to the beast and Krampus considered them a future feast.  They left knowing Krampus would be back.  The monster was already planning his attack.

Toy Review: Gi Joe Cobra A.S.P.

http://www.yojoe.com/vehicles/84/asp/

This is one of the worst toys from the Gi Joe line, which makes it perfect for Cobra.  It has a goofy snake theme and is basically a lump of plastic.  I guess it would be some sort of anti aircraft gun in "Real Life" but here its a piece of crap.  You didn't even get a figure with this.

It serves as something to be towed by your H.I.S.S. tank as it actually has a trailer hitch so i guess that was the reason it was made.  The guns and cock pit swivel 360 degrees on the base and lifts up so that your figure is in a more or less standing position.  This gives it a bit of a hooded cobra look which i think may be the only thing I liked about this thing, being slightly comical.  The wheels and stands can alternately snap into position allowing for towing or sitting around doing nothing.

Sorry I bugged you for this Mom and Dad.  I hope the gandkid made up for it.

Krampus for Christmas part 122: Clean up part 3

The monster was busy deep into the night, beating on bad kids windows to set them right.  He rounded up gangs of drunks to sing and wassail.  Krampus hired lone left out teens sending them to malls to assail.  They dressed like the monster looking for fun, grabbing pretty girls and then would run.  Krampus made sure Christmas included these punks, no one should be left out alone in a funk.  With much menace sewn Krampus tired headed home.  Content in his handiwork the beast stalked the streets alone.  With his wandering Krampus finally came upon a house that wasn't on his list.  Nothing on the good nor the bad; how were they missed.  Those who didn’t keep Christmas were safe from the monsters wrath, the monster would wish them a happy Kwanzaa and continue on his path.  But this house had a well decked tree, Krampus peered in wonder who could it be.  Looking in at the lights and winter decorating theme; Krampus looked at the family within the scene.  The kids Krampus didn't know both new to his eye.  But the parents the monster remember from times gone by. Krampus had visited the parents when they were young, visiting them more when their teenaged years had begun.  They had just sort of fallen off the lists many years ago.  Some decided Christmas was malarkey that had to go.  It seemed to be happening more with each passing year.  Soon there would be no kids to eat was a growing fear.  But there was a tree standing proud and tall.  This troubled Krampus he would need to bay Saint Nick a Call.  Were they back on the list and Krampus not up to speed, a better message system than reindeer was sorely in need.

It took three buses to get to the Mall. Then Krampus waited and waited in an employee bathroom stall.  Sometime after close the jolly elf entered with a tired groan, taking the stall next to Krampus's own.  Krampus got Santa's attention with a few bangs and a knock.  Thinking himself alone it gave Santa quite a shock.  Whispering Krampus told the tale. Santa promised to look into it without fail.  The beast was lucky the real Santa was working the mall near his home.  The neighbor didn't let the big beast use his phone.

Krampus walked home Hungry and confused.  Only thinking of grabbing a late night snack left the monster a little amused.  The air was a light drizzle and his sneaker had a hole.  Still a little foul weather would not stand between Krampus and his goal. The monster peered in windows for something to eat.  If not bad kids maybe a little spoiled meat.  The streets on this side of town looked sad and shabby.  The people too weren't Christmasy bur instead sort of crabby. Christmas wasn't always very fun for folks looking for money and finding none.  Even Krampus didn't feel a need to make these peoples season worse. Krampus caught a ride to the rich side of town in a hearse.  Krampus gave them loads of business this time of year.  The morticians were all glad Krampus was here.  They dropped him off in a better part of town, Krampus departing without a sound.  Around the houses Krampus crept silent like a cat. None of the bad kids were big boned or fat. Only grisly chauffeured little jerks.  Krampus wanted a double deck kids sandwich with sauerkraut and the works.   The only porker was kind and jolly, a delightful little fatso named Pauly.

Tonight Krampus would be forced to make do,  with a scrawny back talking bastard or two.  Down the chimney?  No not his style he kicked in the door with a smile. He told the parents what he was about and usually they handed the truants over without a shout. This time was different this time was fun; dad fought with Krampus and told the kids to run. It was odd pops was valiant when his kids rotten eggs. Sometimes even good parents end up with the dregs.  Krampus ran off from the fight, laughing and cackling into the night. Children were tasty but sausage was too and Harry's Hofbrau was open almost until two.

Some nights later after his rounds to the bad kids of town.  Krampus was tired and sore and very run down.  Sad of spirits out monster needed a drink.  Down to the corner to the lowest of dives all dark and full of beery stinks.  Here the monster was warm and the place full and merry.  Krampus ordered himself twelve Tom and Jerry's.  Slowly getting plastered the rest of the night.  Singing with the bar Christmas songs of childhood delight.  The beast stayed until last call and got one for the road to end it all.

They spilled upon the street couples and gangs and some singles lonely with heartbroken pangs.  Krampus was leaving when he heard a woman's words spoken in fear.  No granny or Lady's need worry when Krampus was near.  Down a dark alley a date ended poorly.  The girls No's changed the monsters mood sorely.  With a bound Krampus sprang to see what was the matter.  A woman pushed a man away while he pawed at her.  High on Christmas vengeance Krampus made the man bite the curb. Then a swishy switching along with screaming was heard.  Once twice the whipping was strong and even like the tide.  The villain wouldn't be sitting after the tanning of his hide.  Long after the beating he left with the lady, clinging to his arm.  She laughed and was happy despite herself from Krampus's ample charm.  Leaving her at her doorstep but asked to call again, nothing serious just to check on his new friend.

On some nights Krampus just watched TV by the fire at home.  Though usually a fire he set and the house not his own.  Our monster wasn't above arson to watch a favorite show and they only play A Christmas Story a few times you know.  Krampus was happy for Whoville when good turned the Grinch.  He thought Charlie’s sad little tree would do in a pinch.  The monster chimed along so angels got their wings.  He even watched a Cailliou Christmas though he hated the thing.

With a fire still blazing the cops came sirens singing loud.  Krampus lingered a little longer than he should watching Rudolph fly so proud.  A copper caught him in the head with a billy club; knocking out the monster like a little cub.  It took three officers to load Krampus into their truck.  Krampus came too smelling horses and muck.  Locked in the beast sadly howled; joined by a chorus of dogs returning he yowl. 

The cops led Krampus through the station thinking him a bum.  He would remember this for coal in the stocking each and every one.  Once Santa chained the Krampus but police shackles wouldn't work.  The monster tore them apart with the smallest little jerk.  All the papers filed they led him to a cell, it was wet and cold and he didn't like the smell.  But in Krampus went and didn't even yell.  Some hours later Krampus ripped off the door. Being quiet and listening for the Sargent’s snore. Krampus crept out on a soft padded foot; but sometimes with a cloppy clop coming from his hoof.  His jail break was a success no thanks to old fat Saint Nick.  He may have been his partner but sometimes he was a prick.   Krampus walked home sneaking all the way, Get back to his little house a few hours before light of day.

The morning after his incarceration Krampus prowled about the yard.  He thought of Ms Deroon whom he saved at his local bar.  She worked at the school a mile down the road.  If Krampus put her on his own naughty list no one would know.  School was still in session but the monster didn't care.  Love on different schedules never was fair.  Krampus broke down the door, storming into the room; throwing over a table which landed with a boom!  Some kids fled in terror others shrieked in fright.  It was only Idunn who squealed in delight.  He gave only a glance bounding toward Miss Deroon.  He hefted her up and sprang from the room.  To the window tearing up the sash, it exploded with a crash.  Miss Teacher had been bad and Krampus had the cure. It was a punishment she would enjoy, of that be sure.  It wasn't the date she envisioned after Krampus saved her at the bar, but it was one she liked more by far.

The teacher rolled over throwing an arm over the brute; it was a wild night there was to be no refute!  Miss Deroon stroked Krampus's furry chest, her night with the savage monster had been her best.  Clothes cast about the room or torn into shreds, she wondered if she'd need a new bed.  She happily laughed with Krampus stroking her hair in his paws.  For a monster he was gentle never scratching her with his wicked claws.  Krampus tongue drooped out as it often did; she enjoyed this too under the covers where they hid.  Then the beast fried up eggs; breakfast was important to start the day.  With a hug and kiss they each were on their way.

The morning after the night with Miss Deroon left Krampus brooding stewing in gloom.  The incident with the tree didn't go as Krampus hoped.  He just couldn't scare this girl, away he moped.  She even cheered when the monster stormed her class.  Laughing and giggling when he took the teacher for his lass.  Where did this one get off being so brave, it was an insult the monster would take to his grave.  One little girl that liked the brute, now stuck with a friendship he couldn't refute.  Now instead of talking through she hopped over the fence; looking the beast eye to eye without even a wince.  She even helped hang the little lights.  A kid helping Krampus; boy Santa would laugh at the sight.  She liked Christmas too it’s something all kids do, but Idunn loved it like the beast.  Not only presents but the lights, tree, and feast.  She loved her family coming from near and far, even the uncle that lived at the bar.  She even have an eye for decking the halls, also she brought Krampus her mother's Christmas cheese balls. After being filled with treats Krampus didn't much mind this kid he couldn't eat.  She even had a nice backhand with the whip, good follow through and a solid grip.

After a few visits and some time, Krampus actually started not to mind.  Idunn helped and the beast had plenty to do.  He needed many more switches and a cane or two.  Without the girls help the work might never get through.  She even figured out what the record player was all about.  Idunn was too young and her parents didn't care for vinyl.  They hated those horrid hipsters that much is final.  But the girl treated the monsters records with a ginger hand, and thought his choice in music was perfectly grand.  Sometimes they even sang together changing the words, something about the bat mobile losing wheels I've heard.

When Krampus asked Idunn if she sent a list to Saint Nick; she decided she would just give it to Krampus it would be more quick.  She even asked if he could come down the chimney instead and eat up cookies whilst she slept in bed.  The idea was so sweet the monster started to blush, but being a big monster he was much too plush.  And so the Beast, Krampus, had made a friend.  This being rare for a monster he was loyal to the end.  He told Idunn of old Christmases untold; bringing the girl into Yule tides exclusive fold.  Krampus documented the long history of lights around the house, from Edison to general electric on through Westinghouse. Illuminating his secrets for decking the bows, giving her all the whys and how’s.  The monster even gave Idunn copies from his cooking book; though some called for awful ingredients it’s best not to look.  Idunn passed along to mommy those more plain.  Her mommy tried a few but her efforts were in vain. Krampus even once gave the girl a hug.  He was stiff and awkward squishing Idunn like a pug.  But she laughed and didn't once cry.  Krampus tearing up a little but said he had something in his eye.

Video Game Review: Legacy of the Ancients C64

http://www.c64gg.com

This was a fantastic old game for the commodore 64 and a few other systems.  I think it was released by EA back when they made good games and didn't suck.  Its a computer RPG that was standard for the time but it included some nice elements.  You had traveling over the world map, some sections that were first person as the picture displays and even some over the dungeon sections when you were storming castles.

It was made by a couple of brothers using questron as a model and then went on to make a spiritual sequel called legend of black silver. 

The basic premise is you are a farmer that finds a corpse with a dagger, mysterious coin and bracelet.  This quickly leads you to a cosmic museum.  The exhibits in the museum are odd in that some display items that you can insert the coins in and take and places that you can travel too.  At first many of the exhibits are not functional but as you progress and level up they allow you to interact with them.    This works to limit your access to items and areas.  It also works to give you something like quests.

I had  loads of fun with this back when i was a kid.  I really found it deep and had enough game play to be memorable. I liked the difference between dungeons and storming the castle parts.   This game demands and update as do many of the older EA titles.  Its funny how they have gold in the vault and keep doing the sports crap.  Seven Cities of Gold was amazing and would be a fantastic game.  Really it was the first sandbox game, they could remake it with the same ideas and loads of achievements, it would be great.  This game too!
 

Toy Review: Montgomery Wards Personalized Real Tool Set

This is a sort of cool thing i found on line.  I had the more junior version of this when I was a kid and had no idea they still sold it.  Actually I didn't know Wards was still around.  Really this tool kit is better as there is more to it.

So I had the 1981 version of this thing from Montgomery Wards.  This one is the modern 2012 version but it is still pretty much the same.  The tools are kid sized but real tools.  There had been some up dates, it looks like.  My tools had blue at the end of the handle and these have red.  There are some new tools included, I certainly didn't have a block planer.  But all in all it looks near the same as the smaller version I had.

I am actually pretty shocked at the price as mine was probably a little cheaper but 49.99 for all these tools seems a pretty good purchase for such a big set of tools.  I hope they are of the same quality as my old ones, they where real workable tools back then.  They could take a beating and still build.  Probably not for everyone but Norm Abrams and Roy Underhill would approve of this toy.

Game Review: 7 Wonders

http://www.boardgame.de/reviews/7wonders.htm

I don't know how to start out this review of 7 Wonders, as I have some pretty mixed emotion.  At the end of the game most of the players liked the game and wanted to play again, and I was much happier with my purchase.  The beginning of the game was awful as we were all learning it from the rule book. So I guess i need to give some basics then talk about the good and the bad of the game.

Thematically you are building on of the ancient worlds' seven wonders.  While that is what you are doing you are really building up various victory points in little pools and trying have the highest total of these.  You play through three ages which include six rounds of play each.  In each round you are playing some card which gives you resources of some sort.  These don't work in the traditional since of something you spend but rather satisfy requirements for future building.  I am reminded of Shadowfist in this a bit, you never really lose resources they are just around for you to use always. You  can purchase from your neighbor if you don't have something and they do.  That sounds like you are taking something from them but you are actually just giving money to them with out taking anything away. 

So you are building resources to build your wonder which gives you rewards for each part you finish.  You also build up military structures, Victory point structures and science structures that come into play in end scoring.  I said end scoring for military structures but that is actually wrong you battle with your neighbors at the end of each age and these battles give you victory point awards.  Basically everything other than resources works out to be focused on victory calculation at the end of the game.  But actually certain cards turn those into victory points.

The bad about this game is the rule book it is super confusing.  I was getting more and more pissed off at the game while we were trying to figure out the rules in the beginning.  The writing is bad and overly confusing.  The quick play sheet makes figuring out things worse.  One thing that was sort of bad in the game was the passing of cards between rounds, this made it feel very random.  You were not really able to plan.  Another thing I didn't like was I was really dis involved with some of the other players.  You are connected to the two players on either side of you but totally disconnected with anyone else. The finally things is both good and bad depending on who you are.  You don't really do much screwing over you friends, very little of what you do hurts your opponents.  Some people like this other want to had more negative ways to harm their friends.

So I have made this game sound very complicated haven't I, it's not.  Once we all got the flow down it moves super fast.  Everyone can do their actions at the same time this works in part because of the above never harming your friend nature of the game.  After playing all the rules made since and it was all very easy.  The different wonders all play different so the game has variety.  Couple that with each having two different versions and you have tons of variations.  It supports seven players which was big for us.  And again its simple once you get it, if there was a youtube video introducing the game it would be way better.  The game is actually simple the rule book is just bad.

Krampus for Christmas part 121: Clean up part 2

The little girl , Idunn , still from the window watched.  Only hearing the beast when he returned from a hunting trip that was botched.  He prowled nightly after fall was here; with this new competition the cats howled in fear.  They didn't know Krampus was looking for kids nor did Idunn or she might have hid.  The monster got the naught list early and needed a bite.  No one would miss a kid or two, well maybe they might.
Some evenings later Idunn spied Krampus with his sack.  It looked full and something moved in the pack.  The monster laughed and lashed the bag with a chain tied to bells.  Santa bound Krampus with these chains and one of his spells.  Idunn was worried and slunk down to hide but couldn't stop watching no matter how hard she tried.  When the bag spilled open she thought it was a giant rat, but it was just an o ‘possum plump and fat.  Krampus cooked it up on the grill, but Krampus was too big to be filled.

The damage done and neighborhood in surmounting terror Krampus was still hungry and realized he had made some sort of error. Sure he has spread fear and reminded everyone of a dark presence, but his cupboards were bare except for some pheasants. The monster would need to stock up on meat; no restaurants would let Krampus in to eat. With the chaos sewn Krampus would have to lay low spending time at the Capitol drive in picture show. For Krampus horror movies were a joy except he would have ate up the camping girls and boys.  He rooted for Freddy and thought elm streets parents were to blame.  For Leather Face and Pin Head it was the same.

A few weeks pasted until the monster again stalked the streets.  Krampus waited until the full moon to hunt his treats.  Each full moon had a name in days of yore and October's was for hunters said the lore.  High above birds flew south against the moon, but Krampus meat wasn't fowl and he would have it soon.  All full Krampus slept deep counting reindeer instead of sheep.  October was a blur until his work was well in hand. Krampus was relieved things were going as planned.  Then he took some moments to enjoy the fall knowing it was too early for Santa to call.  A sea of leave caught in the air, whipping and whirling dancing without care.  Lawns left with a patchwork of leaves others cleared and mounds piled to the eves.  Then there were the children prowling the streets all armed with bags of treats.  The kids confused Krampus all dressed like someone else, pirates or plumbers or even Celts. One night Krampus saw a little girl dressed like him, she had the horns and hoof but was much too slim. The beast ran away at the doppelgangers sight; imagine a little girl giving a monster such a fright.

But Krampus had more pressing matters at hand, a party to attend. He was a friend of the band.  The monster even dressed up in his little lederhosen, but they were far too tight.  The monster though a costume was needed for the night. Upon arriving he found his friends dressed as ghouls toting machetes and instruments cruel.  There were too many mummies and a skeleton with wired shut eyes and jaws.  Another had no face at all; it was the strangest bunch of monsters you ever saw. 

Krampus finally took a seat in the corner near his friend Ed.  He was dress in a strait jacket bolts holding down the top of his head.  He said Hi and passed the furry Krampus some wine, spiced and mulled, it suited Krampus just fine.  They all knew Krampus was a monster of Christmas thinking him weird. But one weirdo was nothing to be feared.  A weird monster who felt Christmas couldn't come too soon. Here at a Halloween party he felt out of tune.  To their roaring electric mayhem, Krampus thought of carols and started to hum. For their candy He thought of cookies and asked the barman for eggnog and rum. His friends had had enough of him when he arranged the skeletons into a manger and started treating Krampus like a stranger. 

Krampus stayed a few hours and would have stayed more, but found himself always inching his way to the door.  The party didn't notice Krampus stealing away I think they were glad he left anyway.  The monster was one too many some had thought, they would see him at Christmas his presence would be sought.  Krampus walked deep in Halloween night and after a while of being alone he started to feel alright. He was happy for the moon which lead the way, though he wasn’t in a hurry anyway. The monster pasted other monsters haunting all the streets.  Many masked from Woolworth other with wholes cut in sheets.  These old kids stayed out late prowling for fun, most gave Krampus distance and a few would flat out run.
He wandered not aware where he was going or the night was at end; coming face to face with the sun after turning a dark bend.  It was a new day, but one of the dead.  New sights and smells filled the monsters head.  The monster wandered the small run down shops, a barber and a Baker all painted pink even the sign “Stop”!  Krampus looked at the little Catrina's and sugary skulls for the dead.  A skull faced server gave kids some swaddled baby bread.  This was a holiday Krampus didn't understand.  Songs of Dia de la Muertos were played by an undead mariachi band. Krampus hid ducking down and tucking himself away then creeping back toward home.  He wasn't the right sort of monster and shouldn’t be caught alone.  Krampus worried El Cucuy was around, if there is one monster then two isn't as crazy as it sounds.  The two argued every time they met, about turf is my bet.

Afterwards was the dreary November with days turning short and somber.  Few thought of Christmas with and election and Thanksgiving on the way.  But Krampus long ago turned his attention to the day.  Idunn could see his yard was already merrily dressed.  But the monster thought his display was a terrible mess.  Some garland the halls when they toss up the tree, others might give a week to adding the house with holiday glee.  Krampus had been decorating since before Halloween, Idunn often watch from her window, under blankets, hiding unseen.  Krampus liked to vary each year with different styles and themes.  Muted and dull ornaments one year; the next crystal trees that gleam.  He could put on a sixties lounge Christmas with glitz and flair, even a sad little forties Christmas when war was in the air.  Some years he hung knee hugging little elves.  Other years nutcrackers filled the shelves. 

Our monster decked his dog house with festive delight, rolling out the holly and electric lights.  There was a star and an arrow, gold links garlanded around the tiny house.   He even forced Christmas sweaters on a very frightened mouse.   Krampus hung wooden ravens all along the door.  They were a Christmas tradition from Alaska's chilly shore.  Some he carved with his wicked Krampus claws; others were bought online.  Paying state taxes it was all within the law.  Raven represented Jesus to the Tlingit people up north.  Through virgin birth Raven stole the sun and for the people and brought it forth.  In his house Krampus's manger was set with more Caganers than two; all trying discreetly to take a Christmas poo.  One looked like john Lennon another like Peggy lee. He searched without luck for one taking a wee.  Christmas Catalogs filled the rest of his tiny shack, ordered chronologically in a massive stack.  The monster had Sears wish book from every year, yes he had Montgomery Wards and Penny's you needn't fear.  Some had toys circled, he would have liked as a lad; but Krampus never got presents as he was always bad.

Krampus remembered a house on a street named Seal, decorated everywhere with Christmas Zeal.  Christmas filled every little nook, if you wanted tips these folks wrote the book.  You couldn't see it all in an evening or season, Christmas spilled out every room no rhyme or reason.  The little couple that lived there decked the halls every year, from the fifties until now without fear.  They started even before Krampus the old beast, so grand kids saw when they came from back east.  There was a tree that magically seemed to snow and a second in the back on the patio.  There were so many ornaments extra branches were hung on the walls and more like a sea of stars on the ceiling in the hall. Some years they turned the garage into a scene, removing the door and making a window of Plexiglas and beams.  The little lord Jesus slept in a bed a pump for his breathing a drive stirring his head. All the neighbors would come to see, when Krampus showed up they all turned to flee.  The monster just smiled on the couple’s work, thinking next time to hide and lurk.  Krampus had watched the couple’s house fill and fill every year until kids were about to spill.  Most years the traditions remained the same, though some were already pretty strange.  Chop Suey was served for a special treat, odd for a Mexican Irish family to like to eat.  One son often cooked eggs pickled in beets; most would have preferred to lick feet.

Krampus would be sad when they were gone, then only a lesser Christmas could be drawn.  He would be sad for the Kids who wouldn't get to see. Christmas everywhere; even a Crystal tree.  Boys would wonder over a hot wheel covered twig draped with lights, two feet big.  For the girls one decked in dolls and merriness everywhere though the halls.  If the monster could save some in his mind maybe it wouldn't be lost ever in time.  The beast wished he could save some Christmases that were oh so grand, not to have traditions pass from the land. To someone in the family they may pass the flame but to Krampus taste it would be tame.  They would take a tradition or two the rest passing away to the beasts rue.  Krampus remembered too many holidays long forgot, none would be remembered and put at the soul of the plot. The monster turned them over in mind, when filled with longing from time to time.  Still some new ideas weren't so dark, except for that horrid peppermint bark.  Perhaps the couple’s kids would have a grand thought and the spirit of Christmas again would be caught.  Krampus felt a ray of hope. Maybe with the loss of the little couple he could cope.

The thoughts were soon cast aside Krampus would play some Christmas carols then he could abide.  Mid November some start playing Christmas tunes, but Krampus had been playing them since June.  He had vinyl and Cd's and an iPod loaded full of his favorite Christmas songs.  Playing carols so early wasn't right but he was happy being wrong.  The heartfelt music soothed Krampus on lonely nights.  The monster didn't worry and felt everything would be alright.  Sometimes he felt he could even take a break his house had been decorated since veterans day for Pete's sake. Some late nights he prowled record shops disguised in a hat and giant coat.  Luckily the customers looked mostly the same and even smelled a little of goat.  He snapped up Christmas records from country to jazz.  He even bought “A Progressive Rock Christmas” with Greg Lake and Patrick Moraz.  From John Denver to the muppets his collection was very complete only a dedicated collector could ever compete.  Krampus enjoyed the Siberian metal Christmas and wished he could attend the show, but to that Fresh Aire Christmas flatly said no.  He was left lukewarm with saxophone Christmas by Kenny G.  The monster had no use for Bocelli.  The new sung Christmas records kept less than they missed.  A Vince Guaraldi Christmas really put the beast in a Christmas mood.  To such pleasant jazzy sounds the monster couldn't menace or brood.  Some Canadian had a song about a winters night, that Krampus felt really got the tidings right. 

Riding home the station played Christmas too, Oakridge Boys Christmas from 1982.  Listening to the music he basked in peace, but soon he would be down to business so he switched on number of the beast. There was still more work and other holidays would intrude, interrupting Krampus's Christmas season really very rude. 

Krampus had a bird on thanksgiving, a flame broiled and nicely stuffed Tom; Eating it right there with the dog on the lawn.  Krampus wasn't too formal with the feast.  A ping pong table in the back yard was fine for the beast.  For dessert Krampus gathered Halloween pumpkins that were smashed on the road.  Leaving them on the window sill until they reeked growing mold.  With the mess he baked thanksgiving pies complete with homemade crust and several hundred files.  Yams were hand smashed and candied golden brown, soaked in syrup so sweet they were hard to get down.  Scalloped corn and stuffing rounded out the meal. Krampus heaped on seconds and thirds with a happy squeal. Who knows what part kids played in the feast, he may have ground their bones to make the yeast.  There was some doubt as it was before the season, but Krampus knew a butcher with meats for every reason.  The day of the feast he caught a little nap.  Then waited by the mall and set a little trap.  Black Friday shoppers tasted the best; full of thanksgiving dinners from their toes to their chest.  They thought of sales, not their kids.  They wouldn't mind just a nibble; so he waited and hid. Later Krampus, happy with the nights mayhem, crept way; planning more for each of the coming days.  

It was some days later than Idunn watched and listened on a morning where dew glistened.  Down next door the monster hurried about a table; He was preparing a feast fit for a fable. A meal fit for kings and queens back in olden times, again so much food an army could have dined.
There was a bird or rather many, Idunn guested twenty but really only thirty. The beast was turning them into a feast, a roast of birds from times long ceased. Krampus would laugh at a turduken that was only three; he made his tenfold bigger you see. He had an ostrich, an emu, emperor penguin on down the line a pigeon a blue jay with a humming bird finally stuffed it would taste just fine.  Idunn thought it smell delicious "Yumming" with a sigh.  Krampus even baked on of great grandma's chocolate pies. Idunn wondered where he got the recipe, grandma kept a secret card, but the monster's smelled the same cooling on the table in the yard.
With the night drawing near Idunn's parents called her down from her window.  They were having dinner with grandma Clara and it was time to go!  Idunn came down with a sullen mope. Returning from dinner early was the little girls only hope. She spied a man when she got into the car.  He poked round the neighbors house with long hair and a guitar.  He had a lock of white hair that bobbed to and fro.  Idunn thought he looked like the leader of a jazz trio.  Then a bum wandered up and Krampus opened the gate.  The little girl wanted to see more but her parents grew irate.  So Idunn and family drove away and the band started to play.  Her family returned to music ringing from the neighbor’s yard.  Singing and ringing out songs of Christmas under a veil of stars.  Idunn again watched from above a pair playing music with love.  One wore rags and the other a tux but they played in unison without any flux.  The bums voice was ragged but warm and sweet. His beautiful performance would have brought a crowd to their feet.  He sang of old city bars, streetlight and drinks for free.  Wishing everyday was Christmas was his final plea.  Ancient rhymes sung of olden times with Krampus humming along.  Sang and swelled from the backyard the whole night long.  These miscreants of Christmas didn't care the hour was late.  They didn't even pause when the Trash Men were banging on the gate.  The concert was for Krampus sole and alone.  He was cloistered in the safety of his backyard home.
Idunn in her sleep dreamed of dancing with Santa and riding Krampus back.  The little girl didn't know the monster would have preferred her for a snack.  She thought him a furry friend and didn't think of teeth that rend.  The monster would have been wary if he knew of the little girls plans, He was a connoisseur of kids but otherwise not a fan.

The pair finally finished the last tune, and then scurried off in the light of noon.  A bus took the guitarist to the next stop on his tour, what happened to the bum really I'm not sure. But there are many bars and local dives not too far a five minute drive.  Krampus tucked into sleep snuggled up in a sheet, but with all his fur there was plenty of heat.  The monster dreamed deep of not beating kids.  He just wanted a pretty witch with whom he could live.  Nothing fancy just quiet and alone, a cabin in the woods they'd call home.  If the monster dreamed other things I wouldn't know, I was kept up by the musical show.  Krampus was up before dawn the next few days.  Still decorating his dog house, he entered a contest that paid.

Idunn too was up early and looked down on Krampus amused, she was glad her furry neighbor wasn't caged in the zoo.  With watching Krampus for so long Idunn had grown brave.  The little girl decide to talk to the Knave.  She marched down and looked him right in the eye; offered her hand and said "Hi".  Krampus was shocked at the little girl's bravado.   At first he huffed then finally he said "Hello."  Idunn introduced herself by name waiting politely for the beast to do the same.  When Krampus finally did it was curt.  Idunn was not being afraid, the monster felt a little hurt. But she kept at him with a smile and the innocence of a child.  Krampus temper turned more mild.

Christmas lights glowed around the eaves, with Krampus making small talk hoping the girl would leave.  She had been good and the beast couldn't eat her.  Santa wouldn't allow it of that Krampus was sure.  Krampus tried yelling and showing his claws, but the little girl wasn't scared, leaving him in awe.  What did she want?  The beast still hoped she'd leave!  When she said to be friend Krampus gave her a reprieve. I'm a monster he said with a growl.  And if your bad I'll eat you, beat you, you'll howl.  But Idunn stood her ground and still holding out her hand without a sound.  Silent and stoic Krampus finally took the little girls hand.  The beast asked "why aren't you afraid.  like any little girl would?"  Idunn thought a moment "I can pretend; do you think I should?"  Krampus snarled disgusted at himself. "She thinks I'm funny! silly like an elf!"  The girl told of her watching so many months, even of following his little hunts.  How after time the monster was a matter of fact, she even accused the kid eating was just an act.  "No" the beast roared, I'd eat you if allowed. Krampus monstered and menaced and furled his brow. 

Idunn just laughed and hugged a hairy leg.  How did a monster scare this girl? Did he have to beg? She was unrelenting and determined; wouldn't bend.  Krampus finally was forced to let her be his friend.  Idunn chattered at Krampus through the fence, the big brute taking each word with a wince.  How did he end up with a kid wanting to be a friend?  If Nick heard of it the torment would never end.  He was a monster!  No The Monster of the merry Yule!  Now this child played him for the fool.  The monster indulged the small talk only as much as he could; even considering a change of neighborhood.  He only took interest when she mention how for Halloween she had her mom make a Krampus costume.  Flattered the beast finally blushed; a little ashamed he wished the child hushed.  Still Krampus had a reputation and couldn't have a kid as a friend.  He plotted and planned a way to make the friendship end.  He listened intently when she spoke of getting a tree, maybe he could scare here off then he would have to try and see.  The morning went on much the same; to her words he nodded his mane.  Krampus hoped to end the talk it was driving him insane.
Rows of pines decorated the hills above the town; all waiting someone to come and chop them down.  Fathers proudly stalking with saw in hand, all searching for the perfect fir noble or grand.  All were happy unless they picked a tree full of ants, that wriggled and climb right down their pants.  Krampus hid until the growing dark, crouched under junk hidden with a tarp.  The monster finally crept out around dusk, spending his time  sharpening his tusks.  Parents were most concerned with pines and spruce.  They wouldn't mind a few bites on little Bruce. Only hoof and paw tracks would mark Krampus there, he would have a snack without a care.  In the evening, he spied little Idunn, all innocent and silhouetted by the light of the moon.  Her parents didn't see the monster creep.  Krampus would scare them so bad they would lose sleep.  Then this girl wouldn't hope to be his friend, for the monster a happy end.  The beast leaped from behind a tree with a furious growl.  Her parents, but not Idunn, recoiled with a howl.  Their terror rapped them up like a rug, but Idunn instead ran up and gave the monster a big hug.  Krampus then ran off in fright; he meant to instill horror never delight.

The brute howled in sorrow only to be joined but nearby dogs.  Sad and dejected Krampus needed someone to flog.  Idunn's hug and turned him into a joke.  Krampus walked home deprived of his hopes.  He wandered the hills until he arrived where the sidewalk began.  Krampus didn't notice the kids until they shrieked and ran.  Feeling a tad better the monster gave chase, lashing a teen directly in the face.  Krampus kicked him as he went down, happily cackling with no sort of frown.  The terror that night is legend to this day, though only an urban legend the foolish unbelievers will say.  I can assure you though I still have the scars, Krampus branded me with a red hot iron bar.  The night went and Krampus slept sound in the backyard though many houses lay burned and charred.  Krampus he was happy; again the raging beast, even Gamera couldn't challenge him being so far back east.

Some nights later Krampus slid out of his yard.  He was a swift shadow stopping only to make sure the gate was barred.  Silent as Santa but twice as grim he moved as a monster three times as slim. Down the street he moved in a flash preparing to give naughty kids the lash.  His bag was filled full with a big bundle of sticks. He would leave them on ill-mannered kid's door steps so their parents could give them a few licks. He festooned switches with candy and little toys to soften the blow. But the message was clear for any kid to know. A Christmasy warning to mend their way or the monster Krampus would make them pay.  Krampus was the strong arm to Santa's merry laugh, and the beast was content to be the pairs darker half.  He would give coal or whipping to the kids on the wrong list.  Sometime he could eat the ones that really made Santa pissed.  This night in early December Santa appointed to him.  Krampusnacht it was called, falling on the sixth when the lights grow dim.  Krampus prowled leaving switches at houses where the kids were bad. If he hasn't paid you a visit you really should be glad.

Krampus also delighted in mischief when his night was at hand, his gift for mayhem was really quit grand.  A few streets over Krampus came upon the Barries house that was without lights.  The only house on a well dress street looking a terrible sight. The old man was lazy even though his neighbors offered to help.  Krampus thought of beating him until he cried with a yelp.  A better idea pop into the monsters evil head.  He would Decorate the house himself and run up their electric bill until their wallet bled.   Mr. Barrie tried to argue with the electric company but they said he lies. Krampus work was glorious and they even won a prize. 

Toy Review: ERTL Darrel Waltrip Mountain Dew playset

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I have been hunting for pictures on this one for a while but came up short, well except for this small one of the hauler.  I know this was a Christmas gift and I want to say it came from the 1981 Montgomery Wards Christmas catalog.  It was actually a really cool set that came with much more than you see in the picture.

There was this hauler but also a full stock car that went with it.  Also included was a nice Darrell Waltrip action figure and a bunch of tools and toys related to the pit crew.  The figure was super articulated for the time moving at the wrists, ankles and even having full movement of the head.  The Gi Joes of the time didn't even have swivel arm battle grip.  With this thing you had extra tires and all sorts of little tools to loose, it was very cool.

I ended up passing this along to my friend Mark who is a Mountain View collector and liked it more than my parents closest did.  I only had the hauler by that time speaking to how easy it is for a kid to loose stuff.