Thursday, November 08, 2012

Krampus for Christmas part 121: Clean up part 2

The little girl , Idunn , still from the window watched.  Only hearing the beast when he returned from a hunting trip that was botched.  He prowled nightly after fall was here; with this new competition the cats howled in fear.  They didn't know Krampus was looking for kids nor did Idunn or she might have hid.  The monster got the naught list early and needed a bite.  No one would miss a kid or two, well maybe they might.
Some evenings later Idunn spied Krampus with his sack.  It looked full and something moved in the pack.  The monster laughed and lashed the bag with a chain tied to bells.  Santa bound Krampus with these chains and one of his spells.  Idunn was worried and slunk down to hide but couldn't stop watching no matter how hard she tried.  When the bag spilled open she thought it was a giant rat, but it was just an o ‘possum plump and fat.  Krampus cooked it up on the grill, but Krampus was too big to be filled.

The damage done and neighborhood in surmounting terror Krampus was still hungry and realized he had made some sort of error. Sure he has spread fear and reminded everyone of a dark presence, but his cupboards were bare except for some pheasants. The monster would need to stock up on meat; no restaurants would let Krampus in to eat. With the chaos sewn Krampus would have to lay low spending time at the Capitol drive in picture show. For Krampus horror movies were a joy except he would have ate up the camping girls and boys.  He rooted for Freddy and thought elm streets parents were to blame.  For Leather Face and Pin Head it was the same.

A few weeks pasted until the monster again stalked the streets.  Krampus waited until the full moon to hunt his treats.  Each full moon had a name in days of yore and October's was for hunters said the lore.  High above birds flew south against the moon, but Krampus meat wasn't fowl and he would have it soon.  All full Krampus slept deep counting reindeer instead of sheep.  October was a blur until his work was well in hand. Krampus was relieved things were going as planned.  Then he took some moments to enjoy the fall knowing it was too early for Santa to call.  A sea of leave caught in the air, whipping and whirling dancing without care.  Lawns left with a patchwork of leaves others cleared and mounds piled to the eves.  Then there were the children prowling the streets all armed with bags of treats.  The kids confused Krampus all dressed like someone else, pirates or plumbers or even Celts. One night Krampus saw a little girl dressed like him, she had the horns and hoof but was much too slim. The beast ran away at the doppelgangers sight; imagine a little girl giving a monster such a fright.

But Krampus had more pressing matters at hand, a party to attend. He was a friend of the band.  The monster even dressed up in his little lederhosen, but they were far too tight.  The monster though a costume was needed for the night. Upon arriving he found his friends dressed as ghouls toting machetes and instruments cruel.  There were too many mummies and a skeleton with wired shut eyes and jaws.  Another had no face at all; it was the strangest bunch of monsters you ever saw. 

Krampus finally took a seat in the corner near his friend Ed.  He was dress in a strait jacket bolts holding down the top of his head.  He said Hi and passed the furry Krampus some wine, spiced and mulled, it suited Krampus just fine.  They all knew Krampus was a monster of Christmas thinking him weird. But one weirdo was nothing to be feared.  A weird monster who felt Christmas couldn't come too soon. Here at a Halloween party he felt out of tune.  To their roaring electric mayhem, Krampus thought of carols and started to hum. For their candy He thought of cookies and asked the barman for eggnog and rum. His friends had had enough of him when he arranged the skeletons into a manger and started treating Krampus like a stranger. 

Krampus stayed a few hours and would have stayed more, but found himself always inching his way to the door.  The party didn't notice Krampus stealing away I think they were glad he left anyway.  The monster was one too many some had thought, they would see him at Christmas his presence would be sought.  Krampus walked deep in Halloween night and after a while of being alone he started to feel alright. He was happy for the moon which lead the way, though he wasn’t in a hurry anyway. The monster pasted other monsters haunting all the streets.  Many masked from Woolworth other with wholes cut in sheets.  These old kids stayed out late prowling for fun, most gave Krampus distance and a few would flat out run.
He wandered not aware where he was going or the night was at end; coming face to face with the sun after turning a dark bend.  It was a new day, but one of the dead.  New sights and smells filled the monsters head.  The monster wandered the small run down shops, a barber and a Baker all painted pink even the sign “Stop”!  Krampus looked at the little Catrina's and sugary skulls for the dead.  A skull faced server gave kids some swaddled baby bread.  This was a holiday Krampus didn't understand.  Songs of Dia de la Muertos were played by an undead mariachi band. Krampus hid ducking down and tucking himself away then creeping back toward home.  He wasn't the right sort of monster and shouldn’t be caught alone.  Krampus worried El Cucuy was around, if there is one monster then two isn't as crazy as it sounds.  The two argued every time they met, about turf is my bet.

Afterwards was the dreary November with days turning short and somber.  Few thought of Christmas with and election and Thanksgiving on the way.  But Krampus long ago turned his attention to the day.  Idunn could see his yard was already merrily dressed.  But the monster thought his display was a terrible mess.  Some garland the halls when they toss up the tree, others might give a week to adding the house with holiday glee.  Krampus had been decorating since before Halloween, Idunn often watch from her window, under blankets, hiding unseen.  Krampus liked to vary each year with different styles and themes.  Muted and dull ornaments one year; the next crystal trees that gleam.  He could put on a sixties lounge Christmas with glitz and flair, even a sad little forties Christmas when war was in the air.  Some years he hung knee hugging little elves.  Other years nutcrackers filled the shelves. 

Our monster decked his dog house with festive delight, rolling out the holly and electric lights.  There was a star and an arrow, gold links garlanded around the tiny house.   He even forced Christmas sweaters on a very frightened mouse.   Krampus hung wooden ravens all along the door.  They were a Christmas tradition from Alaska's chilly shore.  Some he carved with his wicked Krampus claws; others were bought online.  Paying state taxes it was all within the law.  Raven represented Jesus to the Tlingit people up north.  Through virgin birth Raven stole the sun and for the people and brought it forth.  In his house Krampus's manger was set with more Caganers than two; all trying discreetly to take a Christmas poo.  One looked like john Lennon another like Peggy lee. He searched without luck for one taking a wee.  Christmas Catalogs filled the rest of his tiny shack, ordered chronologically in a massive stack.  The monster had Sears wish book from every year, yes he had Montgomery Wards and Penny's you needn't fear.  Some had toys circled, he would have liked as a lad; but Krampus never got presents as he was always bad.

Krampus remembered a house on a street named Seal, decorated everywhere with Christmas Zeal.  Christmas filled every little nook, if you wanted tips these folks wrote the book.  You couldn't see it all in an evening or season, Christmas spilled out every room no rhyme or reason.  The little couple that lived there decked the halls every year, from the fifties until now without fear.  They started even before Krampus the old beast, so grand kids saw when they came from back east.  There was a tree that magically seemed to snow and a second in the back on the patio.  There were so many ornaments extra branches were hung on the walls and more like a sea of stars on the ceiling in the hall. Some years they turned the garage into a scene, removing the door and making a window of Plexiglas and beams.  The little lord Jesus slept in a bed a pump for his breathing a drive stirring his head. All the neighbors would come to see, when Krampus showed up they all turned to flee.  The monster just smiled on the couple’s work, thinking next time to hide and lurk.  Krampus had watched the couple’s house fill and fill every year until kids were about to spill.  Most years the traditions remained the same, though some were already pretty strange.  Chop Suey was served for a special treat, odd for a Mexican Irish family to like to eat.  One son often cooked eggs pickled in beets; most would have preferred to lick feet.

Krampus would be sad when they were gone, then only a lesser Christmas could be drawn.  He would be sad for the Kids who wouldn't get to see. Christmas everywhere; even a Crystal tree.  Boys would wonder over a hot wheel covered twig draped with lights, two feet big.  For the girls one decked in dolls and merriness everywhere though the halls.  If the monster could save some in his mind maybe it wouldn't be lost ever in time.  The beast wished he could save some Christmases that were oh so grand, not to have traditions pass from the land. To someone in the family they may pass the flame but to Krampus taste it would be tame.  They would take a tradition or two the rest passing away to the beasts rue.  Krampus remembered too many holidays long forgot, none would be remembered and put at the soul of the plot. The monster turned them over in mind, when filled with longing from time to time.  Still some new ideas weren't so dark, except for that horrid peppermint bark.  Perhaps the couple’s kids would have a grand thought and the spirit of Christmas again would be caught.  Krampus felt a ray of hope. Maybe with the loss of the little couple he could cope.

The thoughts were soon cast aside Krampus would play some Christmas carols then he could abide.  Mid November some start playing Christmas tunes, but Krampus had been playing them since June.  He had vinyl and Cd's and an iPod loaded full of his favorite Christmas songs.  Playing carols so early wasn't right but he was happy being wrong.  The heartfelt music soothed Krampus on lonely nights.  The monster didn't worry and felt everything would be alright.  Sometimes he felt he could even take a break his house had been decorated since veterans day for Pete's sake. Some late nights he prowled record shops disguised in a hat and giant coat.  Luckily the customers looked mostly the same and even smelled a little of goat.  He snapped up Christmas records from country to jazz.  He even bought “A Progressive Rock Christmas” with Greg Lake and Patrick Moraz.  From John Denver to the muppets his collection was very complete only a dedicated collector could ever compete.  Krampus enjoyed the Siberian metal Christmas and wished he could attend the show, but to that Fresh Aire Christmas flatly said no.  He was left lukewarm with saxophone Christmas by Kenny G.  The monster had no use for Bocelli.  The new sung Christmas records kept less than they missed.  A Vince Guaraldi Christmas really put the beast in a Christmas mood.  To such pleasant jazzy sounds the monster couldn't menace or brood.  Some Canadian had a song about a winters night, that Krampus felt really got the tidings right. 

Riding home the station played Christmas too, Oakridge Boys Christmas from 1982.  Listening to the music he basked in peace, but soon he would be down to business so he switched on number of the beast. There was still more work and other holidays would intrude, interrupting Krampus's Christmas season really very rude. 

Krampus had a bird on thanksgiving, a flame broiled and nicely stuffed Tom; Eating it right there with the dog on the lawn.  Krampus wasn't too formal with the feast.  A ping pong table in the back yard was fine for the beast.  For dessert Krampus gathered Halloween pumpkins that were smashed on the road.  Leaving them on the window sill until they reeked growing mold.  With the mess he baked thanksgiving pies complete with homemade crust and several hundred files.  Yams were hand smashed and candied golden brown, soaked in syrup so sweet they were hard to get down.  Scalloped corn and stuffing rounded out the meal. Krampus heaped on seconds and thirds with a happy squeal. Who knows what part kids played in the feast, he may have ground their bones to make the yeast.  There was some doubt as it was before the season, but Krampus knew a butcher with meats for every reason.  The day of the feast he caught a little nap.  Then waited by the mall and set a little trap.  Black Friday shoppers tasted the best; full of thanksgiving dinners from their toes to their chest.  They thought of sales, not their kids.  They wouldn't mind just a nibble; so he waited and hid. Later Krampus, happy with the nights mayhem, crept way; planning more for each of the coming days.  

It was some days later than Idunn watched and listened on a morning where dew glistened.  Down next door the monster hurried about a table; He was preparing a feast fit for a fable. A meal fit for kings and queens back in olden times, again so much food an army could have dined.
There was a bird or rather many, Idunn guested twenty but really only thirty. The beast was turning them into a feast, a roast of birds from times long ceased. Krampus would laugh at a turduken that was only three; he made his tenfold bigger you see. He had an ostrich, an emu, emperor penguin on down the line a pigeon a blue jay with a humming bird finally stuffed it would taste just fine.  Idunn thought it smell delicious "Yumming" with a sigh.  Krampus even baked on of great grandma's chocolate pies. Idunn wondered where he got the recipe, grandma kept a secret card, but the monster's smelled the same cooling on the table in the yard.
With the night drawing near Idunn's parents called her down from her window.  They were having dinner with grandma Clara and it was time to go!  Idunn came down with a sullen mope. Returning from dinner early was the little girls only hope. She spied a man when she got into the car.  He poked round the neighbors house with long hair and a guitar.  He had a lock of white hair that bobbed to and fro.  Idunn thought he looked like the leader of a jazz trio.  Then a bum wandered up and Krampus opened the gate.  The little girl wanted to see more but her parents grew irate.  So Idunn and family drove away and the band started to play.  Her family returned to music ringing from the neighbor’s yard.  Singing and ringing out songs of Christmas under a veil of stars.  Idunn again watched from above a pair playing music with love.  One wore rags and the other a tux but they played in unison without any flux.  The bums voice was ragged but warm and sweet. His beautiful performance would have brought a crowd to their feet.  He sang of old city bars, streetlight and drinks for free.  Wishing everyday was Christmas was his final plea.  Ancient rhymes sung of olden times with Krampus humming along.  Sang and swelled from the backyard the whole night long.  These miscreants of Christmas didn't care the hour was late.  They didn't even pause when the Trash Men were banging on the gate.  The concert was for Krampus sole and alone.  He was cloistered in the safety of his backyard home.
Idunn in her sleep dreamed of dancing with Santa and riding Krampus back.  The little girl didn't know the monster would have preferred her for a snack.  She thought him a furry friend and didn't think of teeth that rend.  The monster would have been wary if he knew of the little girls plans, He was a connoisseur of kids but otherwise not a fan.

The pair finally finished the last tune, and then scurried off in the light of noon.  A bus took the guitarist to the next stop on his tour, what happened to the bum really I'm not sure. But there are many bars and local dives not too far a five minute drive.  Krampus tucked into sleep snuggled up in a sheet, but with all his fur there was plenty of heat.  The monster dreamed deep of not beating kids.  He just wanted a pretty witch with whom he could live.  Nothing fancy just quiet and alone, a cabin in the woods they'd call home.  If the monster dreamed other things I wouldn't know, I was kept up by the musical show.  Krampus was up before dawn the next few days.  Still decorating his dog house, he entered a contest that paid.

Idunn too was up early and looked down on Krampus amused, she was glad her furry neighbor wasn't caged in the zoo.  With watching Krampus for so long Idunn had grown brave.  The little girl decide to talk to the Knave.  She marched down and looked him right in the eye; offered her hand and said "Hi".  Krampus was shocked at the little girl's bravado.   At first he huffed then finally he said "Hello."  Idunn introduced herself by name waiting politely for the beast to do the same.  When Krampus finally did it was curt.  Idunn was not being afraid, the monster felt a little hurt. But she kept at him with a smile and the innocence of a child.  Krampus temper turned more mild.

Christmas lights glowed around the eaves, with Krampus making small talk hoping the girl would leave.  She had been good and the beast couldn't eat her.  Santa wouldn't allow it of that Krampus was sure.  Krampus tried yelling and showing his claws, but the little girl wasn't scared, leaving him in awe.  What did she want?  The beast still hoped she'd leave!  When she said to be friend Krampus gave her a reprieve. I'm a monster he said with a growl.  And if your bad I'll eat you, beat you, you'll howl.  But Idunn stood her ground and still holding out her hand without a sound.  Silent and stoic Krampus finally took the little girls hand.  The beast asked "why aren't you afraid.  like any little girl would?"  Idunn thought a moment "I can pretend; do you think I should?"  Krampus snarled disgusted at himself. "She thinks I'm funny! silly like an elf!"  The girl told of her watching so many months, even of following his little hunts.  How after time the monster was a matter of fact, she even accused the kid eating was just an act.  "No" the beast roared, I'd eat you if allowed. Krampus monstered and menaced and furled his brow. 

Idunn just laughed and hugged a hairy leg.  How did a monster scare this girl? Did he have to beg? She was unrelenting and determined; wouldn't bend.  Krampus finally was forced to let her be his friend.  Idunn chattered at Krampus through the fence, the big brute taking each word with a wince.  How did he end up with a kid wanting to be a friend?  If Nick heard of it the torment would never end.  He was a monster!  No The Monster of the merry Yule!  Now this child played him for the fool.  The monster indulged the small talk only as much as he could; even considering a change of neighborhood.  He only took interest when she mention how for Halloween she had her mom make a Krampus costume.  Flattered the beast finally blushed; a little ashamed he wished the child hushed.  Still Krampus had a reputation and couldn't have a kid as a friend.  He plotted and planned a way to make the friendship end.  He listened intently when she spoke of getting a tree, maybe he could scare here off then he would have to try and see.  The morning went on much the same; to her words he nodded his mane.  Krampus hoped to end the talk it was driving him insane.
Rows of pines decorated the hills above the town; all waiting someone to come and chop them down.  Fathers proudly stalking with saw in hand, all searching for the perfect fir noble or grand.  All were happy unless they picked a tree full of ants, that wriggled and climb right down their pants.  Krampus hid until the growing dark, crouched under junk hidden with a tarp.  The monster finally crept out around dusk, spending his time  sharpening his tusks.  Parents were most concerned with pines and spruce.  They wouldn't mind a few bites on little Bruce. Only hoof and paw tracks would mark Krampus there, he would have a snack without a care.  In the evening, he spied little Idunn, all innocent and silhouetted by the light of the moon.  Her parents didn't see the monster creep.  Krampus would scare them so bad they would lose sleep.  Then this girl wouldn't hope to be his friend, for the monster a happy end.  The beast leaped from behind a tree with a furious growl.  Her parents, but not Idunn, recoiled with a howl.  Their terror rapped them up like a rug, but Idunn instead ran up and gave the monster a big hug.  Krampus then ran off in fright; he meant to instill horror never delight.

The brute howled in sorrow only to be joined but nearby dogs.  Sad and dejected Krampus needed someone to flog.  Idunn's hug and turned him into a joke.  Krampus walked home deprived of his hopes.  He wandered the hills until he arrived where the sidewalk began.  Krampus didn't notice the kids until they shrieked and ran.  Feeling a tad better the monster gave chase, lashing a teen directly in the face.  Krampus kicked him as he went down, happily cackling with no sort of frown.  The terror that night is legend to this day, though only an urban legend the foolish unbelievers will say.  I can assure you though I still have the scars, Krampus branded me with a red hot iron bar.  The night went and Krampus slept sound in the backyard though many houses lay burned and charred.  Krampus he was happy; again the raging beast, even Gamera couldn't challenge him being so far back east.

Some nights later Krampus slid out of his yard.  He was a swift shadow stopping only to make sure the gate was barred.  Silent as Santa but twice as grim he moved as a monster three times as slim. Down the street he moved in a flash preparing to give naughty kids the lash.  His bag was filled full with a big bundle of sticks. He would leave them on ill-mannered kid's door steps so their parents could give them a few licks. He festooned switches with candy and little toys to soften the blow. But the message was clear for any kid to know. A Christmasy warning to mend their way or the monster Krampus would make them pay.  Krampus was the strong arm to Santa's merry laugh, and the beast was content to be the pairs darker half.  He would give coal or whipping to the kids on the wrong list.  Sometime he could eat the ones that really made Santa pissed.  This night in early December Santa appointed to him.  Krampusnacht it was called, falling on the sixth when the lights grow dim.  Krampus prowled leaving switches at houses where the kids were bad. If he hasn't paid you a visit you really should be glad.

Krampus also delighted in mischief when his night was at hand, his gift for mayhem was really quit grand.  A few streets over Krampus came upon the Barries house that was without lights.  The only house on a well dress street looking a terrible sight. The old man was lazy even though his neighbors offered to help.  Krampus thought of beating him until he cried with a yelp.  A better idea pop into the monsters evil head.  He would Decorate the house himself and run up their electric bill until their wallet bled.   Mr. Barrie tried to argue with the electric company but they said he lies. Krampus work was glorious and they even won a prize. 

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