Varúð

I can't seem to figure out how to be strong anymore. 
There are things I just want to run and hide from
and pretend they are gone. 
Phone calls that I just don't want to make
or even pick up to see whats on the other end. 
Christmas shopping trips that should be good
but I feel a grey lining on all my silver clouds. 
Some ticking clock running away
but I see the damage done with every visit. 
The worrying longing hiding in everyone who touches it. 
It's all on hold and I don't get why your planning.
I wish it was just me in pain
Something I could understand and hold deep.
I wish could protect you from it and just me hurt.
But that's simple and this one isn't
Its a hurt that un makes us hole.
Something beyond you or me and bites through to us.