Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Krampus for Christmas part 120: First Cleaned up part

Summer was Krampus' Slow time, with hibernation and the brute lined up for the odd vacation.  Sometimes he hid out in the Matterhorn when he traveled to the south.  Snarling at the bob sleds and trying to scoop kids into his mouth.  Disneyland didn't care for monsters though he was a careful guest.  But after a night with Cinderella’s sister he thought leaving was for the best.  Besides the weather didn't suit his fluff, he almost shaved himself to be cooler in the buff.  Far north the climate was better for a beast such as he, The Bay was nicer even cold in Carmel by the sea.  There he frolicked with the walrus beneath a sea of green.  People wondered if it was an elephant seal they had seen.  Still Krampus didn't stay long always worrying it was getting late.  If he missed a minute of Christmas the monster would be irate.

Most days he spent at home in the yard.  So Idunn could easily see him, spying wasn't very hard.  He was taller than the fences with his horns, which poked out like wicket bougainvillea thorns. Sometimes he worked on an old Plymouth from late 66, something was always broken that the beast needed to fix. Then he would hear a dry leaf scratch cross the street and would check the date even in the summer heat.  Other days he would lounge in a little kiddie pool.  Drinking a Slurpee and trying to keep cool.  But a calendar was always at hand; the monster circled dates and planned and planned.  Some of his schemes centered on candy corn; others on pumpkin doughnut, without them he would be forlorn.  Seldom was there a day the monster didn't have something planned.  Autumn for Krampus was shaping up to be grand. 

And Idunn watched from her window spying on the dates.  Hoping to understand the monster whom lived over the gate.  She thought it was strange her friends didn't have a neighbor like "Him".  She often wondered if he needed a friend.  He had the neighbor’s dog that he treated well, but if they were friends it was really hard to tell.  The dog sleep inside lying on the couch while the monster slept in a tiny dog house his feet sticking out.  Now I said feet but that's not really true.  He only had one foot not so many as two.  The other was a hoof that clopped on the ground.  It would keep you up at night when Krampus walked around.  But as Idunn watched the monster never did anything mean.  He was well groomed and even kept his claws manicured and clean.

On Labor Day just before the start of school Idunn was surprised the beast wasn't in his pool.  Krampus flame broiled burgers like a king; he also made hotdogs and sausage all sorts of things.  Krampus and the dog would have quite a feast, with left overs and seconds even if they ate like  beasts.  His grill glowing Krampus cooked unaware, but slowly the monster noticed a change in the air.  From the high branches a tree cast of a leaf, seeing it caused Krampus untold grief.  The monster left his grill glowing bright and was hidden in the garage the rest of the night.

Krampus searched through boxes hidden from Idunn's eye.  He looked for garland and lights sometimes muttering with curses and cries.  Untangling strands was difficult with his claws. Krampus hoped the dog would have better luck with its paws.  Krampus's monstrous hands weren't made for that sort of task.  What sort of monster is this I bet your going to ask?  Krampus is the Christmas monster or demon depending to whom you speak.  Horned and hoofed and kids are the dinner he seeks.  You see Santa keeps his gloves clean where the naughty list is concerned. Krampus dolls out the punishment bad kids have earned. But Krampus loved Christmas and was full of its cheer, even on Arbor Day, all of the year. 

Even though it was still early, Krampus considered the date and was worried.  For the monster Christmas loomed even though Oktoberfest would arrive more soon.  For Krampus these others holidays just got in the way.  The monster had to celebrate three versions of Thanksgiving Day; one for the Canadians and two for the Yanks.  Back in the forties Republicans and Democrats each had a day to give thanks. 

But for now it was September and Krampus worried about a tree.  He liked to cut his own though they came with spiders and fleas.  By now he had his light untied and untangled, checking each bulb to make sure none were mangled.  The garland looked nice and angel hair was neatly arranged.  Such care from a monster was pretty strange.  Krampus's supply of switches had grown rather low, last year the naughty list saw a lot of flow.  He would need more and to mend his sack, one kid tore a hole while struggling on Krampus's back.  He almost got away, but ended up in the stew.  All of the bad kids end up there; be good or you will too.  Krampus hurried on with chores, most of September the beast was a whirlwind of Christmas gore.  Repainting his several mangers with care the colors well matched and painted with flare.  His ornaments were inspected each at least twice; any broken were mended and made to look nice.  Idunn only caught glimpse of the monster these first autumn days. Krampus even forgot beer and sausage he was so dedicated to his Christmas ways.

No comments: