Watched by empty silhouettes

Ack! i find another blog gloming onto my esteemed monicker! To add just a dash at the end http://crescentstar-.blogspot.com? No one taught them etiquette. This name is earned and burn upon me though now seldom seen amid marks of vital cleansing.

Perhaps you thought these lies but fare more I fear are true. Naive accounts of night's brand upon me indeed wholly factual though lost in time perhaps unread.

Motley drama t'will not be forgot. Close your eyes and still might see these words break like water. But they are words of my self same sea

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Crescent Star Rock Score Card 3

Ok if anyone is keeping count here are some of my title references.

Bonded by blood............................Exodus.......................title of their first record
Navigate the Seas of the Sun .............Bruce Dickinson.............Tyranny of Souls
Kill Devil Hill ................................Bruce Dickinson.............Tyranny of Souls
Obscured By Clouds ........................Pink Floyd....................Record Title
Happy Phantom .............................Tori Amos....................Little Earthquakes?
A little Oblivion.............................Counting Crows..............Song lyric
Swiss Colony of the Slippermen...........Gensis.........................The lamb lies down
Golden Brown................................Stranglers.....................Unknown
Water Song...................................Hot Tuna......................Unknown
Ben Breeg.....................................Iron Maiden..................A Matter of life and Death
More Eroision.................................Grails.........................Black Tar Prophcies 1
Cold Lake.....................................Celtic Frost...................Record Title

Cold Lake

Abigail gazing hard
ice swells blazing sun
No more haze and rain
the day just begun

Boot tracks lead back
on shame and pain
Im walking fast
Silently anger remains

Time brings me back
Wood held stacked
Nevermind ice cracks
Im soon submerged

She's screaming now
mimed through window

Meh sort of lame, i heard some Robin hitchcock song with a driving lyric meter that got me going. I dont know it something at the very least. Inspiration is cold lately

More Erosion

I wouldn't normally be so mundane to use my space like this but boredom has me. Work has called me in for a late night push and nothing has happened so far. I was told to be here at 9pm but the changed it to 10pm after i left. So im sitting here waiting for work. I guess i am stuck until 6.30 am which is crazy.

I should have brought something to read but im not that smart

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Ben Breeg

More time passes and still few words...

I dont know if this is a block or my own abstenance to the through of creativity. I would say there are ideas and things working their way free but in gets lost in the illusions of the day. Without destinction i've let these things go; im only haunting my mind as if some blanched photograph.

Measures are at once meaningful and unconcerned in my mindset. Time concrete, movement relative meaning unobserved. One could put some effort in and feel that was deep but don't let yourself be fooled.

Eschew the wandering of mind and happiness may find you but once devoted assuredly it won't.

Water Song

Well i am sort of hoped up on Mountain dew and not wanting to work on installing CVS at the moment. I figure i would stop a moment and talk a little bit about what is going on in my life. I am going to keep it high level and not bore you with the little facts as that I am listening to someone called Richard Thompson sing "Beat the retreat" at the moment.

I went on a cruise and made it up to the town in alaska that I always wanted to see. Hoonah alaska the tinglit capital of the world. I saw some show on kteh when i was 7 talking about a kids life there. I wanted to go ever since!

Denise and I are going to more shows these days. Testament has passed and Megadeth is coming up. I wish we went up to see Zero Hour but that is no biggie. Its fun to see some of the old bands in tiny clubs like Bourbon street.

I am doing weights and trying to get in a less round shape. Doing legs and back one day, then shoulders and finally chest. Trying to keep it to a major muscle group a day like that but also push myself to increase weight. I am going to try some cardio at home tonight maybe i can lose some too.

yeah thats a hot tuna reference

Golden Brown

I have been waiting on autumn for sometime now and on slow and dragging feet it's nearly hear. I guess i am looking forward to having something to look forward too. An excuse to want to see the people i seldom see or finally let myself feel the pangs that i havent called those long deserving. To admit there maybe hope If one can commit to the underlying work and not turn to video games and solitary mope.

To my friends I am sorry. Derek I should have given you a call long ago and have let inlaws and video games reign me. Rick you deserve those CD's and I am a terrible flake. Mark your my friend and I dont know how to be there for you with your mom so sick, cuz im a weak. Joseph you probably deserve to hear why i flaked out of your game but I didnt want to say I wasnt having fun anymore and i feel at odds with most everything you think. Ants I lost the common ground we shared and thought it was you when I am an elitist. Chiddo I never worked to find common ground with you. Dirk read the above. Brian I have been scared to submit your resume in the past because i worried you would do something weird that aint a friend thats a dick.

I guess that is the crap that I needed to get out and now need to attone for.

looking up this morning

Morning seeming pale
across the western wall
of hills that pall
and hold back the sea

magpies wander aghast
shrill calls feral terror
No wing of weight
The sky will bear

barren aeries greet
eyes soar form such light
soon set with some
quiet and wonder if not fright

Swiss Colony of the Slippermen

Well its been a long long time. I have been busy with things that seemed worthwhile in the moments i wasted, but not so much anymore. I guess you could say i have been in a self imposed writing exile. I have just felt that i needed to take something in to be able to put something out. Like i was stuck on the same themes and ideals.

I have been reading some Peake and Keirkegaard and have landed back on Leibniz door step. And trying to figure out just exactly what I am doing with all of this. Why I don't feel content in my skin and all that. Struggling between the lazy and the manic.

But around this time, I feel a pause coming over me. Like a few slower moments with friends would sit well. Though i dont find any calling.

A little Oblivion

The driving is going no where lately, ending up at Krispy Kreme or 7/11 for donut gems. Its like I have been everywhere and there is nothing left to see. And when I am out I feel like there is something else waiting back home, something much more important for becoming who i want to be. Its sort of hard going through the motions and not finding the comfort I need in things, Like drinking and not getting drunk or something. And people are gone so its running up against solitude, which i dont really want these days.

Happy Phantom

I think its time for a bit of a fall cleaning on the olde site. I am going to take some time to look over whats all here and see if any of it doesnt suck. Maybe try to work on the stuff that is blatantly unfinished. Keep your eyes open for more. Not you scrapping mortgage sellers I advise you to go rent a gun and off yourself as a positive eugenic step for the nation. I dont know why someone would comment om my poetry suggesting I get a better loan, WTF does my lack of self esteem translate so directly into a poor credit score?

I bet your thinking "Fall Cleaning" sounds goofy aren't you. If I were an academic i would feel it was the beginning of the year. I guess its part of the pretending. I heard someone talking about foothill college and I had a little pang of longing. Why i would go to a community college after getting an AA I am still having a hard time understanding. But I have a certain gift for wasting time in things that feel semi fruitful. All that adds up to a perception of new beginnings when the sun is wisping through the window low in the afternoon.

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Obscured By Clouds

Hush down the rain and let silence set awhile in the wake of wine and tastes delicate and refined. It's only sunset with haze burning opaque in moments nagging of ungainly time. Whispers off the stereo chalk away imploring tones of stay , soon it's absolutely curtains threading the needle round. Your listening intent from the far side of the couch, legs tucked up between us, as im drawing augury from your mouth.


I am not sure what i am going for here. It seems like a moment that at exists after a moment of intimacy going rather wrong. Be it being ashamed for doing something to someone they really didn't want or relationship that is wrong. It feels like im heading somewhere i don't personally know so I am trying to figure out my reference to the situation but don't know where to go now.

Kill Devil Hill

With darker and more mutable concerns fall seems to be driving down the mountains in from the sea. Off tree tops dismal airs collapse with summers last fury and force, calling down scorn sewn with embers dying might. Low in little time mortal minds will be held by autumns chores and delights. It's close to morrow and closer still to night, all wilds pang calling. Whisper Cradles or envy line down civilized old Apian with mired greed I've tried to wash white.

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Ode to Gamescape

With a long weekend ahead I decided to indulge my more nerdy fancies and headed to Gamescape, last Friday. Approaching the store along the El Camino, much to my horror and shock, I spied a sign indicating the eventual closing of the store. I sat sickened waiting for the u turn light to burn green once again, this seemed hours of vile wait. I had to get parked immediately and debunk this terrible lie. Finally seemingly hours later I was parked and walking toward the door. It was open at least, I had not missed them entirely. Things did not seem awry but after time it was confirmed, and my heart sunk. A 20% off closing sale hardly made up for the worst atrocity since the closing of Frontier Village.

To address the issue with better clarity I must say Gamescape is my first string store, my plan A, my go to shop. It inherited this mantle after the closing of Griffin Computer, had set me adrift. Prior it had been a seldom made pilgrimage to check the used stock. Griffin had the prices and selection in those days, so I was staunch and loyal. Griffin was something of a successor to the Game Table, and was around when I realized D&J sucked. Gamescape has always been a bit of a drive, and Griffin had my back. One day Griffin sort of imploded, it was then I threw my lot in with Gamescape and I haven't looked back. It was easier after moving to Cupertino and so it went for many years. Their move from California to Elcamino only minor issue. A recent change of work and a few visits to Game Castle are causing me some guilt, perhaps this wouldn't have been so.

Now I am left storeless once again, and am weighing options. D&J oh useless of stores, you have no right to even be considered. Only two lights burn true these days, Game Kastle and Paradox play ground. Game Kastle at present is the more solid of stores from a product perspective. They have a very good selection of RPG's with a strong base of board games. Paradox has them beat on minis, and seems like it has room for potentially becoming a sound store. A few friends have adopted Paradox which gives me some bias, but not enough to side. Paradox is closer and easier to get to which I like. Really I would like to see the stores join forces, then I at least wouldn't have a decision. I guess I will bid my time see what comes, storeless once more.

Navigate the Seas of the Sun

Upon the crystal cathedrals of the deeps
the silence brightly gleems
And its up the mountains with fearful speed
Cut through redwood estates to find Holy Cities
of shattered glass where stories forgotten scream


Starts something no idea what
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Bonded by blood

To summarize some level of work I am trying to connect a mass of accounts of travels that look for and sometimes even find insight upon the roads A certain association of modern skalds strives for what they call small epiphanies in their works This categories well what I am referring to when invoking the Scarecrow A semi mystical voice from whence knowledge can be found The term itself is borrowed from said enclave of entertainers In my works the passenger is not a constant nor even the driver as often I am only a transcriber of tales i have heard I personally find insight only when I am closest to self or perhaps in moments of conversation where one can let down the guards and speak freely the sort of communication that begins with exhaling and then revealing that which is most often hidden Perhaps another of a more social disposition would find wisdom with more noise though i personally doubt there is much wisdom they will find With regard to my lack of punctuation i have found this much easier to quickly right and also find it harder to censor myself which could prove i reveal more than i might wish Which is in itself something of a goal

once

Pedals out the window
until at once just a car
Grinding down our finger tips
blood streams into a jar

Jagged line melody
breathing tired and weak
Against treeline horizons
Fertile valleys seem bleak

once I could dream lavender
now its seems only death
time once was racing
Now i only straggle along

Once sun streamed in
Window viewed only hope
Now i'll drive miles
to stir embers and smoke

if again wonder
coils along my spine
venom cold and melody
once again are blind

sleep off the summer
if the sun only lies
wounded wings plummet
from pink moon skies



a little more creaps in
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Spectral Forces

The road ahead invokes some magic and light assaults the car Though with time the bridge is gone and there is darkness enough to speak Soon banshee screams ring out in valleys shroud in sleep In our words ghosts are breathing on streets we seek Then plundge into sulfur and septic with New Deal built walls racing on Alum Between the bonds and lies perhaps the scarecrow speaks


This rather obtusely recounts some of the stories related to the Alum Rock park area and is far less random than it seems.

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Crescent Star Rock Score Card 2

Howdy folks

Keeping you up to date with the soundtrack that hides behind the blog again. Here is the list since the latest time i did this.

Pieces of your Presence Here...........Colin Haye.......Line from I just dont think i will get over you ......Garden State Soundtrack

White is the light that shines............Pink Floyd.......Line from Green is the Colour....More Soundtrack

Bring me my arrows of desire..........John Milton/Bruce Dickinson.....Line from Jerusalem....The Chemical Wedding

Early Morning Rain............................Gordon Lightfood....Early Morning Rain.....Gord's Gold

Still Life................................................Iron Maiden.............Still Life....Peace of Mind

White Flag...........................................Grails......................White Flag....Burden of hope

Evaporated..........................................Ben Folds Five.......Evaporated....Whatever and ever amen

Everything in its right place..............Radio Head............Everything in its right place....Kid A

Denim and Leather.............................Saxon.....................Denim and Leather.......Denim and leather


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Denim and Leather

Were you there is 79 when the dam began to bust? I was a little late myself, and it never snows in San Jose so waiting at the Cactus wasn't in the snow. I would mention the Pony Express Pizza but, that's something a friend talked about, I wouldn't know. I guess buying taps at Longs Drugs doesn't much count as a heavy metal commitment, when your choosing between Ozzy, Warrant and REO Speedwagons' "This time we mean it".

I guess i'm talking about something I only half hearted lived, with a denim jacket sans Maiden back patch. But I got BAM and read that Stefan guys columns and checked the shows. Sad when you find your freedom a couple months after summers gone and your left with Y & T reunions at the county fair. But that's the life of the timid headbanger wanting to see Testament but not really wanting to go to some youth center in Oakland for the show.

In ways it summarizes my life waiting on the side lines with something holding from saying or doing what i desperately wanted. If i distilled it down, it's somewhere in the fact that I'm not really comfortable in a party full of friends and hide outside or run off to Keystone to play Midnight Wanderers on 3 wonders.

Connections and comfort aren't the same for me. It's arms distance until its safe. If you hear Exodus blasting from a car and glance over banging your head with the beat, that's cool.

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http://www.klov.com/game_detail.php?letter=&game_id=10089
http://discography.speedwagon.com/database/showalbum_new.pl?5
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000005RNQ/ref=m_art_li_3/002-7153232-0160860?v=glance&s=music