Mathers again came calling upon me. This conference an inquiry of the eve detailed in my last missive. The man hung on fine details of the night that seemed minute and of little import to my memory. Often requiring I speak again and again the phrases and pronunciation Crowley invoked through the dinners many toasts. It was all esoteric and banal to an untrained minds such as my own; but to Mathers it was of fixing interest.
This magus as he called himself spoke little of the meanings he took, but did reveal some of Crowleys intention. The feeling of profane interest welling in Crowley was of a craftsman finding a rare and prized material. Myself being that material as the chaste seldom are attracted to his theosophy. Mathers revealed something dark was intend for me though what he was unclear.
It was of further distress that I would play into these schemes, or was Mathers Intention. I was a pawn to be played and could only hope to drive across the board. It was unsettling to know nothing of the board nor the moves of the other pieces. Made all the further unnerving to feeling my player didn't have interests in mind. A pawn against the board.
Yours Very Truly