Thursday, January 03, 2013

I am Sorry

We are horrible to each other and probably to blame for all the bad that comes our way. Look at how we exclude each other and that seems to be the tone of all our lives.  In every group we find like minds to say another isn't good enough. Then we wonder why one lashes out.  People talk about guns and innocence and I don't like to talk about politics, but the answer is to look at our own hands. 

I am sure there is someone I have done wrong and never made amends, certainly more than what little good I have done.  People have also done wrong by me and my problem is that I still feel it.  If you have done someone a hurt you can not even realize it, but when you are hurt it festers there.  Hurt and anger are all about me and I understand hating.

The idea behind this is just to make things right in a small way. Just try to set things right one person to another.  I can only say I am sorry and be meaningful if I understand my wrong.  So here are somem

Rick you have been a better friend than I deserve.  I have been so lost in my grief that I have ignored you asking to help.  You are doing right by me and I am not taking the hand offered to help me up. 

Random black boy who attended Earth Care Day Camp at Evergreen College in San Jose during the late 70's.  Most of us saw you as a bully especially those of use a little younger.  Maybe you didn't see yourself that way but I did.  There was a field trip to the tidal pools in Santa Cruz that ended with a picnic and I had ball park franks that you wanted.   You said they were yours and I stood up for myself because I was always told I needed to stand up to bullies and never did.  I thought I was doing right but you cried and I realized maybe you didn't get enough to eat and that may have been important to you.  I am fat and it would have meant nothing to me to have other hot dogs.  I am sorry.

Older guy driving the red 60's era nova on highway 101 who exits on Oakland road.  I am angry because my mom has cancer.  Also I take a steroid that makes me nuts, it because of an illness.  I go crazy I am sorry If I have scared you.  I am not excusing myself I am just explaining. You have probably had a hard day too and deserve better.

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