Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Krampus for Christmas part 109

This late In the season Krampus loved to bake. His were the worst inedible ill flavored sort of fruity cakes. Krampus delivered them to the neighbor's doorsteps with a toss.  Some shattered across the lawn but the monster wouldn't mourn their loss. Cake broken windows were none of Krampus's concern.  He did the same thing last Christmas and the neighbors really should have learned.  The cakes were hard and really not for eating; more a friendly seasons greeting. 

Krampus didn't shell the nuts just leaving them in for a surprise.  To some he added bolts and hot wheels you should have seen the kiddies eyes.  In January the dentist fixed many teeth, he was so grateful he often sent Krampus a wreath.  Krampus's cookies tasted vaguely of frogs.  No one dared eating them not even local dogs.  He pumpkin bread alone was delicious and that he didn't share.  We only knew of those from the mouth watering smell dangling in the air.  The monster always had Figgie Pudding waiting on the boil.  He dumped it on carolers leaving them flame broiled.  KRampus often baked in coins despite the cost.  They were a choking hazard several lives were lost.

Then came the mincemeat flavored pie, though it wasn't meat and Krampus wondered why.  The beast added tripe to make it true to name, the few who ate it wondered who was to blame.  The pies were horrid terrible foul; left on doorsteps when the Beast did prowl.  Once Krampus had added candied apples to a church bake sale, they were infested with worms, also pretty stale.  In the caramel glaze they looked fine, but after a few bites kiddies retched and whined.

His neighborhood baking was the talk of the town, spoken in hushed whispers with a grim frown.  Few knew Krampus the beast lurked; they thought the food from a prankster jerk.  Only Idunn watched the monster bake, Krampus in a hair net for cleanness sake.  The girl and monster chatted through the fence, Krampus making cookies full of mince.  They shared some of his pumpkin cakes; it was the only tasty dish of all he makes.  Idunn even helped deliver the treats late one night.  She crept out late even through knowing it wasn't right.  For the most part Krampus's cooking was not enjoyed; just another Christmas sorrow for all the girls and boys.

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