Krampus for Christmas: part 90

Afterwords was the dreary November with days turning short and somber.  Few thought of Christmas with and election and Thanksgiving on the way.  But Krampus long ago turned his attention to the day.  Idunn could see his yard was already merrily dressed.  But the monster thought his display was a terrible mess.  Some garland the halls when they toss up the tree, others might give a week to adding the house with holiday glee.  Krampus had been decorating since before Halloween, Idunn often watch from her window, under blankets, hiding unseen.

Krampus liked to vary each year with different styles and themes.  Muted and dull ornaments one year; the next crystal trees that gleam.  He could put on a sixties lounge Christmas with glitz and flair, even a sad little forties Christmas when war was in the air.  Some years he hung knee hugging little elves.  Other years nutcrackers filled the shelves. 

Our monster decked his dog house with festive delight, rolling out the holly and electric lights.  There was a star and an arrow, gold links garlanded around the tiny house.   He even forced Christmas sweaters on a very frightened mouse.   Krampus hung wooden ravens all along the door.  They were a Christmas tradition from Alaska's chilly shore.  Some he carved with his wicked Krampus claws; others were bought online.  It was all within the law.  Raven represented Jesus to the Tlingit people up north.  Through virgin birth Raven stole the sun and for the people brought if forth.

In his house Krampus's manger was set with more Caganers than two; all trying discreetly to take a Christmas poo.  One looked like john Lennon another like Peggy lee. He searched without luck for one taking a wee.  Christmas Catalogs filled the rest of his tiny shack, ordered chronologically in a massive stack.  The monster had Sears wish book from every year, yes he had Montgomery Wards and Penny's you needn't fear.  Some had toys circled, he would have liked as a lad; but Krampus never got presents he was Always bad.

De Profundis: I pursue dark alleys

My Fellow Gentlemen

My concern of evenings past has not abated.  I find myself confined to my abode, this missive delivered by my gentleman's gentleman Tilkinton.  The phantasmagoria written within my previous letter continues.  I see their eyes always upon my estate.  I can only conjectures what should happen if they accosted my person. 

I embark upon a dark journey for my own safety, perhaps in error.  I have found myself a babe in the wood; but am determined it will not be so.  I continue to pursue dark and dusty tomes, scouring for some sort of aid.   Perhaps only an initiate, I find I am drawn in by these works.  Often I am devouring the text in long solemn hours.  I pray I find some reason to hope in the pages.  I fear I am doomed without.

My studies have established a milieu in which I believe both Mr. Yeats and Crowley are working.  I believe both are stitched up under the tutelage of Mather.  I have writing this name in the past, it weights heavy in my studies.  I a lone seeker falter against two both mentored at the apron strings of this Mathers.  Odds surly have been stacked against me in this task.

I am confounded by your collective silence, though perhaps I reach to those already under dark sway.  I pray for your sound minds and words.

Yours very truly
J.L. Reichl

Krampus for Christmas part 89

A weird monster who felt Christmas couldn't come too soon. Here at a Halloween party he felt out of tune.  To their roaring electric mayhem, Krampus thought of carols and started to hum. For the candy He thought of cookies and asked the barman for eggnog and rum. His friends had had enough of him when he arranged the skeletons into a manger and started treating Krampus like a stranger.Krampus stayed a few hours and would have stayed more, but found himself always inching his way to the door.  The party didn't notice Krampus steal away I think they were glad he left anyway.  The monster was one too many some had thought, they would see him at Christmas his presence would be sought.

Krampus himself walked deep in Halloween night. After a while of being alone he started to feel alright. He was happy for the moon, leading him home all pink and bright.  The monster pasted other monsters haunting all the streets.  Many masked from Woolworth other with wholes cut in sheets.  These old kids stayed out late prowling for fun, most gave Krampus distance but a few would flat out run.

He wandered not aware where he was going or the night was at end; coming face to face with the sun after turning a dark bend.  It was a new day, but one of the dead.  New sights and smells filled the monsters head.  The monster wandered the small run down shops, a barber and a Baker all painted pink even the sign “Stop”!  Krampus looked at the little Catrina's and sugary skulls for the dead.  A skull faced server gave kids some swaddled baby bread. 

This was a holiday Krampus didn't understand.  Songs of Dia de la Muertos were played but an undead mariachi band. Krampus hid ducking down and tucking himself away then creeping back toward home.  He wasn't the right sort of monster and shouldn’t be caught alone.  Krampus worried El Cucuy was around, if there is one monster then two isn't as crazy as it sounds.  The two argued every time they met, about turf is my bet.

De Profundis: It proves an unwise purchase

My Fellow Gentlemen


I have arrived at some cosmic error!  My purchased stone charm is useless at best and perhaps worse.  Again I prowled the lane ways south and eastward of my abode.  My hope to again travel unaccosted amongst the denizens I have so often spoken of.  My hopes faltered in the passing hours, so I write to you vexed.

I shall not indulge in my preparation but it's safe to assume me armed.  I arrived at Mr. Yeats estate deep past the midnight hour as planned.  My suspicions of a return of the creatures was proven accurate as I was greeted on far with their malignant green light.  My approach again was cautions but less so, as the elder marked stone emboldened my spirit.  Fool though I am!

Proposing to meet the horrors headlong I approached the melee holding to the notion that the creatures would not perceive my presence.  My initial advance was perhaps unseen or ignored; but slowly I drew their attention.  God their eyes!!

Within moments the altercation began to fade from my sight.  Of this I took solace!  The peace was soon dashed under the feet of the creatures whom originally made not of my presence.  Their forms seemed to coalesce again to my vision.  Gripped in terror I fled only to be given chase.  It is by providence's grace I arrived home safely; though now they are aware.  Aware and even playing me visit in the dark hours though I stay well hid.

I plead for your direction my fellows

Yours very truly
J.L. Reichl

Krampus for Christmas part 88

All full Krampus slept deep counting reindeer instead of sheep.  October was a blur until his work well in hand. Krampus was relieved things were going as planned.  Then he took some moments to enjoy the fall knowing it was too early for Santa to call.  A sea of leave caught in the air, whipping and whirling dancing without care.  Lawns left with a patchwork of leaves others cleared piled to the eves.

Then there were the children prowling the streets all armed with bags of treats.  The kids confused Krampus all dressed like someone else, pirates or plumbers or even Celts. One night Krampus saw a little girl dressed like him, she had the horns and hoof but was much too slim. The beast ran away at the doppelgangers sight; imagine a little girl giving a monster such a fright.

But Krampus had more pressing matters at hand, a party to attend. he was a friend of the band.  The monster even dressed up in his little lederhosen, them far too tight.  The monster though a costume was needed for the night. Upon arriving he found his friends dressed as ghouls toting machetes and instruments cruel.  There were too many mummies and a skeleton with wired shut eyes and jaws.  Another had no face at all; it was the strangest bunch of monsters you ever saw. 

Krampus finally took a seat in the corner near his friend Ed.  He was dress in a straight jacket bolts holding down the top of his head.  He said Hi and passed the furry Krampus some wine, spiced and mulled, it suited Krampus just fine.  They all knew Krampus was a monster of Christmas thinking him weird. But one weirdo was nothing to be feared.

Krampus for Christmas part 87

The damage done and neighborhood in surmounting terror Krampus was still hungry and realized he had made some sort of error. Sure he has spread fear and reminded everyone of his presence, but his cupboards were bare except for some pheasants. The monster would need to stock up on meat; no restaurants would let Krampus in to eat.

With the chaos sewn Krampus would have to lay low spending time at the Capitol drive in picture show. For Krampus horror movies were a joy except he would have ate up the camping girls and boys.  He rooted for Freddy and thought elm streets parents were to blame.  For Leatherface and Pin Head it was the same.

A few weeks past until our monster again stalked the streets.  Krampus waited until the full moon to hunt his treats.  Each full moon had a name in days of yore and October's was for hunters said the lore.  High above birds flew south against the moon, but Krampus meat wasn't foul and he would have it soon.

Krampus for Christmas part 86

Krampus hurried on with chores, most of September the best was a whirlwind of Christmas gore.  Repainting his several mangers with care the colors well matched and painted with flare.  His ornaments were inspected each at least twice; any broken were mended and made to look nice.  Idunn only caught glimpse of the monster these first autumn days. Krampus even forgot beer and sausage he was so dedicated to his Christmas ways.

The little girl ,Idunn , still from the window watched.  Only hearing the beast when he returned from a hunting trip that was botched.  He prowled nightly after fall was here; with this new competition the cats howled in fear.  They didn't know Krampus was looking for kids nor Idunn or she might have hid.  The monster got the naught list early and needed a bite.  No one would miss a kid or two, well maybe the might.

Some evenings later Idunn spied Krampus with his sack.  It looked full and something moved in the pack.  The monster laughed and lashed the bag with a chain tied to bells.  Santa bound Krampus with these chains and one of his spells.  Idunn was worried and slunk down to hide but couldn't stop watching no matter how hard she tried.

I palindrome I

I saw my twin yesterday walking down the street.  he was a heavy guy with my same shoes and jeans.  I have the shirt he was wearing in my closet.  I guess that isn't such a coincidence considering all fat guys shop at the same big and tall store.  His hair was mine from a couple of hears ago before it started thinning, so good on him, but the beard oh god so conventional nothing like my triple horseshoe.

It was striking really, why was he/I walking?  I mean we are lazy we don't walk, what the fuck?  Don't you have a car, we love driving around don't you remember.  Are you even listening to metal in those head phones you fuck why are you walking so serene we aren't serene.

I just wanted to role down the window and say, "it doesn't get much better?"  but what if he is the happy version of us oh my god!  Is that even possible?  Does he feel connected to people and act gregariously.  Its like there is a wrong version of me living just down the street.  What am I going to do.  I don't know if this town is big enough for me and happy fucking Jim.

De Profundis: a curious shoppe

My Fellow Gentlemen

The unpleasantness of evenings past still weighs heavy upon my mind. I find myself a naked babe in a world of wolves that stalks about the edges of perception.  With some direction from out esteemed fellows I have located a curious shoppe in an unsavory district of the city.  Most of the wares appeared to be the shoddy export of some foreign land, though one item spoke to me.

A simple stone with an elder mark of a star.  The shop keep reported its origin one of the islands of Ponape.  The item have returned with a merchant sailor through Dunedin and finally across the pacific to a western port.  The inscribed star whilst painstakingly carved appears haphazard and fluid.  This mark circles a burning eye in green flame. I pray it holds some power to hold back this madness.

I now dwell in fear, my night time strolling ceased. I hope to enbiggen my courage and return to you with further words for this tale.

Yours very Truly
J.L. Reichl

Krampus for Christmas: Part 85

Even though it was still early, Krampus considered the date and was worried.  For the monster Christmas loomed even though Oktoberfest arrive more soon.  For Krampus these others holidays just got in the way.  The monster had to celebrate three versions of Thanksgiving Day.  One for the Canadians and two for the Yanks.  Back in the forties Republicans and Democrats each had a day to give thanks. 

But for now it was September and Krampus worried about a tree.  He liked to cut his own though they came with spiders and fleas.  By now he had his light untied and untangled, checking each bulb to make sure none were mangled.  The garland looked nice and angel hair was neatly arranged.  Such care from a monster was pretty strange.

Krampus's supply of switches had grown rather low, last year the naughty list saw a lot of flow.  He would need more and to mend his sack, one kid tore a hole while struggling on Krampus's back.  He almost got away, but ended up in the stew. All the bad kids end up there, be good or you will too.

Krampus for Christmas: Part 84

On Labor Day just before the start of school Idunn was surprised the beast wasn't in his pool.  Krampus flame broiled burgers like a king, he also made hotdogs and sausage all sorts of things.  Krampus and the dog would have quite a feast, with left overs and seconds even if he ate like a beast.  His grill glowing Krampus cooked unaware, but slowly the monster noticed a change in the air.  From the high branches a tree cast of a leaf, seeing it caused Krampus grief.  The monster left his grill glowing bright and was hidden in the garage the rest of the night.

Krampus searched through boxes hidden from Idunn's eye.  He looked for garland and lights sometimes muttering with curses and cries.  Untangled strands was difficult with his claws. Krampus hoped the dog would have better luck with it's paws.  Krampus's monstrous hands weren't made for that sort of task.  What sort of monster is this I bet your going to ask. 

Krampus is the Christmas monster or demon depending to whom you speak.  Horned and hoofed and kids are the dinner he seeks.  You see Santa keeps his gloves clean where the naughty list is concerned. Krampus dolls out the punishment bad kids have earned. But Krampus loved Christmas and was full of it's cheer, even on arbor day, all of the year. 

6 Player Board and War Games Suggested to my gaming group

Having asked the question to friends and even a message board I wanted to ask here.  What are some good board and minis games for 6 players.  Really we may even need some seve player games.  but for now I wanted to list some of the replies.  This is for my circle of friends but also anyone looking for larger games.

Our original idea was something not role playing that was easy and had miniatures.  Ideally we were looking for something that allow for players to get a taste of miniatures as well as boardgames.  Here are some of the more recommended games.

Zombicide.  I guess this comes from a kick starter but here is the URL for the site and I think you can buy it now.  I am not sure!  Also in this genre is Last Night on Earth which had a runner up vote. http://guillotinegames.com/en/

Wiz War:  This is a classic old game that actually used to be played with a live dungeon back in the old convention days. http://fantasyflightgames.com/edge_minisite.asp?eidm=177

Descent: This and another game called Super Dungeon Explore were recommended several times.  I am not sure i am actually leaning to the dungeon explore game but we will see.  http://fantasyflightgames.com/edge_minisite.asp?eidm=176

Battletech: This venerable game got several mentions from the board.  I think it may work as several players had tried the old game.  I am not sure I remember it as being very random with weapons caches exploding and deciding the game.  http://www.catalystgamelabs.com/battletech/

Frag! Steve Jackson's Games semi war game was also mentioned a bit.  http://www.sjgames.com/frag/img/frag_set_up.jpg

Infinity: Corvus Belli's miniatures game was mentioned as something we might try out as well.  http://www.infinitythegame.com/infinity/en/

Looking for the kid friendly Halloween of my youth

Halloween has come full circle for me I guess.  With a young child I am less interested in anything scary and more interested in the whimsical side of the Holiday.  This is funny as I always wanted Spirit to have better merchandise with a more serious look and detail.  Now that it is there I am looking for the old cardboard crap that was around when I was a kid.  The odd part about this is its mainly disappeared.

The good folks over at Plaidstallions.com have a nice picture that I am posting that shows just what I am looking for.  These lame skeletons, witches and cats are just the thing to not scare my daughter but introduce the season in a fun non dangerous way.  Our walk through Spirit the other day introduced many questions about why is that baby eating his foot and why is that one stabbing his bear.  I told here their teeth were caused by the tooth disease gingivitis and that they didn't brush enough.  She is super into brushing now!

Its odd how Halloween is not the same.  For my friends and I Halloween came in boxed costumes with smocks and plastic masks, which I have written about before.  Make up was always around from crappy vampire and Frankenstein kits to the crazy Dick Smith creatures.  Masks were probably the closest one could come to an expensive costume, some were over a hundred dollars which was like a million to kids in my neighborhood. 

Now its almost rare to see a good selection of masks and no one sells the plastic ones on the string like we had.  What I see everywhere are these introduction to being a hooker costumes.  Seriously even the six year old girls are getting short skirts and leggings.  These a full on slutted up by high school.  I worry for the next few years with my kid.  Sadly you can't even steer them down the nerd route as the anime cos play is as bad or worse.

Sort of sad how the holiday has taken a turn.  I understand it started as an adult holiday but it seems like there should be a place for both innocence and the exotic erotic ball or whatever it was being advertised on the freeway. 

Krampus for Christmas: Part 83

Then he would hear a dry leaf scratch cross the street and would check the date even in the summer heat. 

Other days he would lounge in a little kiddie pool.  Drinking a Slurpee and trying to keep cool.  But a calendar was always at hand, the monster circled dates and planned and planned.  Some of his schemes centered on candy corn; others on pumpkin doughnut, without them he would be forlorn.  Seldom was there a day the monster didn't have something planned.  Autumn for Krampus was shaping up to be grand. 

And Idunn watched from her window spying on the dates.  Hoping for to understand the monster who lived over the gate.  She thought it was strange her friends didn't have a neighbor like "Him".  She often wondered if he needed a friend.  He had the neighbors dog whom he treated well, but if they were friends it was really hard to tell.  The dog sleep inside lying on the couch while the monster slept in a tiny dog house his feet sticking out.

Now I said feet but that's not really true.  He only had one foot  not so many as two.  The other was a hoof that clopped on the ground.  It would keep you up at night when Krampus walked around.  But as Idunn watch the monster never did anything mean.  He was well groomed and even kept his claws manicured and clean.

de profundis: the battle beyond

My Fellow Gentlemen

More of my nocturnal jaunts and the feeling of wild ether frolics.  I claim there is some elevating madness in the endeavor for something must be driving beyond common sense.  Some nights hence I traveled the lane ways that divide my residence with those of Mr. Yeats abode.  This serves as a testimony of the transpired events.  True as the Lord witnesses.

I found myself ill prepared for sleep after late hours in my ledgers and again walked.  My travels wild and far eventually arrived near the residency of Mr. Yeats.  Though it is perhaps a wintering home used only to hide from foul weather at his more common reside.  Mr. Yeats presence at the address is not in question as he is often sited in the privileged company of local gentry.  I approached well into the eve , which is to say much later than my past journeys.  I could see this strange green hued illumination from afar, my approach meandering through alleys and side streets.  It was not until finally rounding a final corner that I would see fully unimpeded.

Creature incomparable with those of natural philosophy gripped in combat tussled about the street.  Some wild and daemonic others perhaps mimicked the rudimentary life seen under a microscope all fought.  Their appeared to be two distinct camps, though I know this through action not their individual aspect.  Some battered and charged at Mr. Yeats abode, whilst others seemed to protect it.  I can not say how long this battle had been waged but it proceeded some minutes.  No single combatant paid me attention and after time the melee began to fade from my sight.  Even though I watched with intent it faded and faded.  Soon there was but a street to see.  I wondered if my mind had soured within my skull at first, though their were again signs of the morass upon Mr. Yeats stone work.

I am assured now to say these powers are beyond me.  I beseech you for word and wisdom.

Yours very truly
J.L. Reich

Krampus for Christmas part 82

Summer was Krampus' Slow time, with hibernation and the odd vacation lined up for the brute.  Sometimes he hid out in the Matterhorn when he traveled to the south.  Snarling at the bob sleds and trying to scoop kids into his mouth.  Disneyland didn't care for monsters though he was a careful guest.  But after a night with Cinderellas sister he thought leaving was for the best.  Besides the weather didn't suit his fluff, he almost shaved himself to be cooler in the buff.

Far north the climate was better for a beast such as he, The Bay was nicer even cold in Carmel by the sea.  There he frolicked with the walrus beneath a sea of green.  People wondered if it was an elephant seal they had seen.  Still Krampus didn't stay long always worrying it was getting late.  If he missed a minute of Christmas the monster would be irate.

Most days he spent at home in the yard.  So Idunn could easily see him, spying wasn't very hard.  He was taller than the fences and his horns towered more.  Sometimes he worked on an old Plymouth from late 66, something was always broken that the beast needed to fix.

The muse returns to mind

The mind and dreams return to their wanting, on these later days of the year.  As if roused and rounded up by a memory of school and it's worrisome start.  Through all that comes an end and the last days here.  The flight of wild wonder for fairer shores.  Amid this moldering the melancholia creeps and I remember you.  My need and myself.

Broken free of the wider ordering understanding these months ride mutable and grey.  Casting of it's mantle of beauty for one of discord and decay even the land wanders in change.  All Autumn colors and doubt fill us through and through. Leaving me alone but for wishing for you. 

In this I dream myself Aloysius and you Nicene my queen, but then I realize somethings amiss and the tale finally begins.  I am lost from the beginning struggling for a connection to you. Lashing out like a hurt animal that doesn't know what to do.  Here I am only a man or rather only the man I am.  Then there is some quest that is transformative and I'm able to speak to you. But the truth is there is no journey that will fix my failing like that. No growth is slow and I am a lazy sod reaching far beyond my grasp.

De Profundis: A missive of insights

My Fellow Gentlemen

We arrive at a juncture seldom crossed.  The wise and fearing man would turn his back on these matters, casting off further thoughts as a fever of the mind. I now count myself a fool as I only hesitate moments and proceed.  Straying from the narrow way for the wilds of a world marred by new horizons.  Horizons painted beyond the old with elder colors the eye has forgot to see.

If you will forgive mine absence, I have labored in books of research.  I have acquired a small trove of tomes in the past weeks.  Many proved fruitless and in a word falderal, if you will forgive my vulgarity. But some few provides fragments of truth awash in balderdash.  It was not until receiving a wire from Mr. Rast that measured progress was made.  This letter included a series of names and marks of entitlement related to The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. 

We find this cabal links W.B. Yeats and A. Crowly.  Further still presses another name Samual Liddell M. Mathers.  The purported translator and supposed author of the lesser Key of Solomon.  Again I must thank Mr. Rast for his inquiry and information.  I would surely have been lost.

I question if I have not found myself between a matter of greater minds.  Some conflict not understood by those holding powers beyond the mundane.

Please friends Advise my future safety
J.L. Reichl

Music Review: The Darkness - Hot Cakes

The hot cakes record has grown on me a bit.  At first i really was only into the "nothings gonna stop us" single but I find more and more on the record that is good. I really find myself enjoying the guitar tones as there are a number of tone you haven't heard well represented since the seventies and eighties.  I find a large number of metal guitar tone sounding the same and this seems like they took efforts to get older tone going, sort of like guitar archaeologists.

The record is good if a bit jumpy, which i guess is consistent with the rest of The Darkness records.  You hear some stuff like Keep me hangin on and with a woman that seem less influenced by hard rock and an more Brit rock which is new.  I find myself gravitating to the harder tracks.

Every Inch of you sort of fits its video, sort of strut and strip.  I don't know this is not my favorite on the record.  It does keep the rock sound going which is good.

Nothin's Gonna Stop Us is the first single so I guess its the one people will know.  I like the Hawk the slayer quote and video, feels nice and dungeons and dragonsly lame.  It's funny how lyrically American this one comes off.

Living Each day blind is sort of a nice lets get out of here song.  It's almost a bit of a ballad but not quit.  Good song one of the ones I find myself listening to again and again.

Everybody have a good time is funny as it starts with a riff almost reminiscent of Heaven and Hell and goes out like Nazareth's Holiday.  I like the song its fun and again you almost get an idea if the dungeons and dragons is your idea of having a good time that The Darkness have the books set up at the kitchen table for you.

Street Spirit is a rocker.  This along with the Stone Gods record show that The Darkness could flirt more with metal.  It has great punctuating metal shouts.  Great for a radio song to be turned so aggressive.

All and all a good record.  It is less slick and manicured their their previous outing, but good.  There are a lot of riffs and tones that hint at older rock and glam metal acts.  Everybody have a good time has hints of Sweet.  There are bits of LA Glam metal here and there in the riffs. 

A poem about South San Jose at Night

these last gasps of summer breath
into sprinkler irrigated night
ersatz petichor for the passerby
whose cadence is slow and aware

prescience of the impending autumn
ripening between sun and treetop
threatening change but left unsaid
hinting wonders hiding the profane

South valley garlic and fires
Hint in deeper bursts of air
stirred Southwest lowers to land
Falling instants remembers to fly

wagering seasons we cant get back
But come with worry to be the last