Monday, January 30, 2012

Talking to my kid about illness and death

As I have said we are dealing with a bit of a family emergency with my mom.  They found out she has a brain tumor.  Or thing she has one, they say a whole bunch with 90% certainty and then say they will not be certain until they biopsy it.  I am scared and having trouble dealing with this.  This is the woman who gave me life, twice if you count the Kidney.

What is making it harder, is I am trying to be level headed and supportive for my dad and family too.  I don't think I am doing a good job of supporting my mom.  I am sure she is terrified, I am.

I really what more time for my daughter too.  That probably sounds selfish but my Mom watches her every day.  I don't want her to come with grips with death this soon.  I don't want her to loss someone she loves.  Last night she said to me "Daddy sit do, I want to talk." So I do thinking she is stalling going to bed.  The girl is three and a half she shouldn't talk like she does but much of what she says comes from my wife and I or Kipper. 

"Grammie is sick, where is she sick?" My mom doesn't look sick this is just the beginning of this but she understands something is up. I say "She has a soar in her head."  "She is going back to the hospital?" Keri asks, which I can tell she is affair.  My mom just came back from one hospital with seizures being brought on by the tumor, it was how we discovered this thing.  I say yes she is going to be helped by the doctor.  I am almost crying at this.  I tucked her in and left, She called my wife in and asked the same questions. 

What do I do?  I don't know how to tell her Grammie is sick and I am scared.  I don't know how to tell my girl about death.  She understands people go away and she doesn't seem them again, i guess.  My parents had a dog who died recently I don't know if she really gets it.  I don't know what to do.

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